liked to walk Scruff.â
âShe likes me not liking to walk Scruff more.â Amy was Amosâs older sister. She felt about Amos the same way most people feel about foot fungus, and she worked hard to find names for him that included the word
butt
. Like
butthead, buttface, buttwad
. Her favorite was
buttbrain
, and she once told Amos that if she had nuclear capabilities, his room would be vaporized.
âAnyway,â Amos continued, âwe were about two blocks from our house. Exactly six hundred and thirty-seven feet from Melissaâs front walkâIâve measured it from every angle within a half mileâwhen I heard a phone ring. It was Melissaâs ring. You know, the one ring followed right away by that all-important second ring?â
Dunc nodded. Amos was in love with Melissa.He swore that Melissaâs ring was different from everybody elseâs. Dunc had given up arguing with him about it a long time ago. It didnât pay. Melissa spent almost all of every waking moment not thinking of Amos. As a matter of fact, she did not know Amos at all.
âThere was a repairman on the top of the pole in front of Herb and Judyâs corner grocery with a phone in his hand. I started up after him as fast as I couldâyou have to answer before that second ring or youâll lose themâand I forgot that I was still holding Scruffâs leash. He came up after me, whining and choking and growling. Halfway up the pole, I let go of the leash so he wouldnât strangle.â
âThat was nice. Instead of hanging him, you splattered him on the concrete.â
âNo. He grabbed my pant leg. My belt gave out, and my pants worked like a parachute as he dropped to the ground.â Amos shrugged, remembering. âIt wasnât Scruff that was the problemâit was the telephone man.â
âWhat happened to him?â
âHe saw me scrambling up the pole, and just because I was screaming with my pants off, he thought I was crazy. Some people are such poor judges of character.â
Dunc waited. âAnd?â
âHe climbed to the top of the pole to get away from me and tried to balance there.â
âTried?â
âWhen I reached for the phone, he fell one way and I fell the other. I landed in the Johnsonsâ compost pile across the street. He fell through the awning of Herb and Judyâs, right into the watermelon stand. He goes into surgery tomorrow to get the seeds removed from his ears. Theyâre sprouting.â
âPoor guy.â
âWhat about me? I never did get to talk to Melissa, and Iâll be spitting compost until I die. What do they put in that stuff, anyway?â
It comes from horses
, Dunc thought, then he shook his head. It was better that Amos didnât know.
Dunc studied the map. The red line ran everywhere. It would have been much easierto highlight the places they
werenât
going to go.
âMelissa probably wanted to find out what Iâm wearing to the Halloween party tomorrow night. Sheâll want to recognize me.â
âRight.â
And the moon
, Dunc thought,
rides on the back of a large turtle
.
A sudden long, lonely howl cut the night.
âWhat was that?â Dunc asked, shivering.
âIâm not sure I want to know.â Amos lookedâand tried not to look at the same timeâaround them on the dark street.
âIt sounded like a dog. Sort of.â Amos shrugged.
âA dog about as big as a Chevrolet, maybe.â Dunc shook his head. âI donât know what it was, but it wasnât a dog.â He had been kneeling and he stood up. âRight. Letâs go home.â
âHome? What about the rest of the route?â
âForget about the rest of the route.â
âBut what about the candy?â
âAmos, anything that can howl like that will think
weâre
candy. Letâs go home.â
Amos began to fold the map, then shook his head.