Free Susanna's Christmas Wish by Jerry S. Eicher Page A

doing so well since the wedding. Learning to know and appreciate who Herman was. And slowly the feelings of love had been growing. She was sure of it. But now this. Did Herman know too much to ever trust her again? That was the awful question. Wiping her eyes, Susanna thought of Matthew and the days when they had been together. Everything had looked so easy back then. The world colored with feelings of love and light. How innocent she had been, believing everything Matthew told her. Accepting everything about him as real. But she had based her love on something that wasn’t solid. And Herman was so different. So very solid. Herman had character, and he was patient, and kind, and very real. There wasn’t a thing about Herman that was fake. He probably couldn’t pretend if he tried. Which meant that Herman had to be deeply hurt to have turned and walked back to the barn like he just did. And it also meant he wouldn’t easily be won back. There was no use running after Herman right now with him knowing what he did. Wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him would only remind him of the tales Matthew had told him.
    Why did Matthew have to come right now? Why not next year, or the year after that? When her love for Herman had grown deep and solid. When it could stand this kind of storm. Not four weeks after their wedding when they barely knew each other.
    What if Herman stayed out in the barn all night? It was cold out there, and he didn’t have a blanket. Would she dare take one out for him? Or would he reject even that? What about tomorrow? Where would he eat if she didn’t feed him? Would he go somewhere else for the day? Tell others about her relationship with Matthew?
    Surely not! She must not imagine things like this. She must make supper for Herman. The best she could prepare in the shortest time. And Herman would see the light in the kitchen. He would know what she was doing and return. His hunger would drive him, if nothing else. And if that failed, she would go to him. Beg him to forgive whatever she had done to hurt him. He loved her kisses. She knew he did. She would love him again, and he would respond like he always had before.
    Rushing about the kitchen, she lit the extra lantern and hung it on the nail in the kitchen ceiling. Racing to the living room window she glanced out toward the barn. Everything was dark, but Herman was in there somewhere. Probably sitting on a hay bale or pacing around thinking of her. He had to be there. Surely he would be coming in soon.
    Running back to the kitchen Susanna began her work, heating the leftovers she had. That would have to do, she figured. Preparing food from scratch would take too long. And they already were full from the Thanksgiving dinner. It wasn’t food they needed right now, but love.
    While the food was warming in the oven, Susanna made popcorn. Heaping the bowl full of fluffy white kernels, she placed it near the oven for warmth.
    Now what else could she do? She paused to look around. Didn’t Herman like candied popcorn? Yah , he did.
    Grabbing the caramel, she heated it over the stove and then ran long streams of the sugary mix over the popcorn. With the lid slapped on, she shook the bowl for a long time. When she opened it, the golden mixture brought a smile to her face. Herman would love this. This popcorn would chase away whatever dark thoughts were crowding in.
    Opening the oven door she checked the food. It wasn’t quite done yet, she decided. A few more minutes were needed. She would see if the living room was in decent shape while she waited. It had been clean this morning, but perhaps something had fallen out of place.
    A quick look around revealed nothing amiss, but Susanna still grabbed the broom to give the floor a fast sweep. When she was done, she went back to the oven. She took the warmed casserole dish out and set it on the kitchen table. Slicing the bread, she placed a few pieces beside Herman’s plate, along with his favorite