Free The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa

something about Asahina’s outfit? There’s gotta be something that looks more like something she could actually fight in. Like a combat uniform or camouflage fatigues?” I asked.
    Haruhi waved the star-adorned antenna pointer in a reproachful fashion.
    “That would kill the surprise when she starts fighting. A waitress doing the fighting gets you the wow factor. Grabbing the audience’s attention is key. It’s all about concept. Concept!”
    Does she even know what “concept” means? I could only sigh.
    “Yeah… I guess that works, but what’s the point in making her come from the future? Would it really matter if she wasn’t a time traveler?”
    Asahina’s shoulders gave a violent shudder where she sprawled. Haruhi didn’t even notice or miss a step.
    “We can work that all out later on. Just have to come up with an answer when someone brings it up.”
    Didn’t I just bring it up? Give me an answer.
    “If you can’t come up with an answer, just ignore them! Not like it even matters. It just has to be entertaining!”
    “If it’s entertaining, sure. And what are the chances that this film you’re making will be entertaining? There’s no point in filming something that only entertains the director. Are you aiming for a Golden Raspberry nomination in the amateur category?”
    “What’s that? I’m only after one thing. First place in the cultural festival best-event poll! And if possible, a Golden Globe. Which is why we need Mikuru to dress appropriately or else people will complain!”
    I doubted anybody was going to complain. At any rate, from the look on Haruhi’s face, it would seem that the film that had left her enraged had obviously managed to win a Golden Globe at some point in time.
    I sighed again and looked to my side. Clad in black, Nagato had parked herself in a corner of the room to engage in her usual reading. Yeah, is she going to die if she doesn’t read when she’s in this room or something?
    “Wait.”
    I realized something as I watched the book-loving alien.
    “Hey, we haven’t gotten the script yet.”
    Actually, we don’t even know what the story is yet. All we know is that Asahina is a waitress from the future, Koizumi is a boy esper, and Nagato is an evil alien mage.
    “Don’t worry.”
    I had no idea what Haruhi was trying to do, but she suddenly closed her eyes and thrust the tip of the star-adorned pointer at her temple.
    “Everything’s in here. The script and storyboard are all worked out. You don’t have to do any thinking at all. I’ll plan out the camera work for you.”
    Strong words. You’re the one who should refrain from thinking and just mindlessly stare out the window. If you had a more reasonable expression on your face, you could trade places with Asahina.
    “Tomorrow’s the day. Tomorrow! Everyone get psyched up. The first step to winning glory is spiritual fortitude. That’s the fastest way to obtaining victory without spending money. Once your soul breaks free of its worldly bonds, latent abilities you never knew about will awaken and release incredible power. That’s right!”
    Well, I can see that happening when the course of a battle is reversed through some unexpected turn of events in one of those fighting comics, but I’m pretty sure that no matter how much you talk about spiritual fortitude and nationalism, we’re a long way from witnessing the Japanese soccer team win the World Cup.
    “Then that’s it for today! Look forward to tomorrow! Kyon, don’t forget about the camera, props, costumes, and other stuff. Make sure you’re on time!”
    And with that said, Haruhi departed, swinging her bag heroically. As I listened to the
Rocky
theme fade off into the hallway, I bitterly glared at the pile of crap. I wondered which guild I was supposed to report this director’s oppression to.
    Fact of the matter is, our school life up until this day had consisted of ordinary everyday happenings, with the exception of Haruhi’s abnormal