arms. "I think I'd rather finish this inside, by the fire."
Firelight was no deterrent to ghosts, but the instinctive retreat to light and warmth was a human one. If more people listened to their instincts, they might not walk blithely into so many disasters.
"Sorry, guiding spirits, you said," Willem prompted as he settled on their blanket nest.
"That was my calling, my sworn duty. I was not to interfere in any way, only to guide the frightened spirit to the next life."
"Did you do it in cat form?"
"Sometimes. Children especially were happy to follow a kitty. Adults were sometimes more comfortable with the human form."
"I'd follow that, no question. Especially naked... "
Kasha snorted. "Focus, Willem. It sounds easy enough, doesn't it? But there were many times when I felt the fates unjust, when I wished to shelter the human from Lady Death's hand. One day, I did. An evil man had strangled his newborn son. I coaxed the infant soul back to his body and breathed life back into him. The man was still in the room, though blind to my presence, so I took his soul instead. It was a struggle, at first. He didn't wish to go, but he became more peaceful as we journeyed."
"So this was bad? Saving a baby?" Willem's voice rumbled with indignation.
"It wasn't my place to decide. But my lady, the sun goddess, forgave me, because of the circumstances. The second transgression was similar, a young woman murdered by her faithless betrothed. Again, I was royally chewed out but allowed to return to my work. The third--"
"The last straw, huh?"
"Yes. This time it was a young man. Barely a man, he was only eighteen, but already a gifted poet. He fell in battle, defending his father's house. He was so lovely, Willem, such a bright, astonishing spark. When I saw him lying on the stones, his beautiful face gray, his eyes fixed, I thought my heart would shatter. I healed his wounds and placed his soul back in his body. Lady Death was furious, and I had no soul to trade for him. And this time I was punished for my arrogance."
"So how long's your sentence?"
"Sentence?"
"Right, how long do you have left? Do you get parole hearings or something? Time off for good behavior?"
Kasha stared up into those beautiful gray eyes, astonished. No one else had ever thought so, but Willem believed there was still redemption waiting for him. "I... my dear lord... "
"I said something wrong, didn't I?"
"No." Kasha squirmed out of his arms, needing some distance so he wouldn't break down and begin keening. "It's a life sentence. And demon lives are very long."
"Damn. I'm sorry. It was a stupid question."
"Not stupid, not at all." He curled up against Willem's hard thigh. "It hasn't been all bad. I found peace with your family over the last twenty years as a cat, following your father from house to brewery every day. It was a good life."
"You miss him, huh?"
"I do."
Willem exhaled a slow breath. "I do, too. Sure, we never got along real great, but he was always there, solid and reliable. It's like there's this hole in the world now."
"Yes." Kasha watched the fire leap to catch a new branch, transforming it from inert wood to a twisting, glowing dragon. "I've had moments of joy, Willem. Those, too."
"Good to hear." Willem leaned forward to add larger sticks to the growing fire, his jaw set in a hard line. "Don't think much of this sun goddess, though. It seems damn cruel."
"Lady Amaterasu, the sun, is neither kind nor cruel. She simply is. Elemental and pure."
"Maybe." Willem's expression softened again. "I'd be willing to help you find some of those moments of joy. As many as you wanted."
The ache around his heart became a stabbing dart. How could he bear it when Willem took a human lover again? He would, perhaps soon; he could not delude himself otherwise. I wish I were a real boy. Where's that damn blue fairy when you need her? He managed a steady voice when he answered, "Thank you. I'll hold you to that."
* * * *
The fire had died to coals