Free The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7) by Ichabod Temperance Page B

that I am the Big Kahuna around here! Rhianico’s sisterly fealty to me is a far stronger claim upon the worthless girl than your silly words of love. Abandon your loyalty for Rhianico and to your country. Serve me, for I am about to rule the World!”
    “Rrgh! No! Never! I shall defeat you, Doctor Lionelstein, and free my beautiful Rhianico! I could never serve one such as you!”
    “Hey, Mr. Trevorgawa-San! Look out! Doctor Atwell Lionelstein’s hunchbacked assistant, Laurie Petier is sneaking up behind you to hit you with a knobby wooden club!”
    ~thud~
    “Too late, Western couple that I do not recognize outside that you are apparently in league with the ToeKey-Oh kid.”
    “Howdy, Doctor Lionelstein, sorry to barge in on you like this and all. My name is Ichabod Temperance, and this here beautiful gal with me is Miss Persephone Plumtartt. We got a pretty good idea that these here experimental trials you are conducting may not have our planet’s best interest at heart. Won’tcha please consider stopping all these dangerous monster making titanic explosions, hunh?”
    “Nonsense, boy. Now then, Laurie, let us slay them both and get back to our experiment. Do you have a preference in which trespasser you kill?”
    “Ja, ja, ja, Dauktor! Please allow me to butcher the little scrawny one!”
    “Very well, Laurie. I suppose that leaves you to me, Miss Plumtartt.”
    “I say, it’s just as well, for I know Mr. Temperance has not eaten yet, and I would not want him to dirty his hands.”
    “You insolent wench! I shall teach you some manners!”
    “Don’t you talk to Miss Plumtartt that way Doc-woah! Hey! Dang, this mean little assistant crazy scientist, Laurie Petier almost did me in with that knobby club of hers!”
    “How dare you interfere with the greatness of our experiments! Stand still you squirming little bug! How can I dash in your skull if you keep jerking out of the way? Bah, I have the correct tool for the job. I shall exchange my trusty club for my even more trustworthy ‘Castle-Sweeper’.”
    “Woo, whee, Miss Laurie Petier Ma’am, that there is a fine looking firearm! I like the way you have combined a quaint, old-fashioned style of matchlocked gun, and married it to a more modern, multiple round capabilitized device. The platform allows for a dozen, heavy charges to be easily rotated into firing position by means of a sliding mechanism, but it is the distinguished funnel that expands outward to its target that remains the hallmark feature of your repeating blunderbuss. I have one question, though, why not upgrade to cap integrated cartridge ammunition? Why do you still use that smouldering fuse method of firing the weapon? Heck, you still ain’t even got ’er lit yet.”
    “Silence you blithering idiot! Ah, there, I have my ThunderBuss lit. Now then, stand still, I am trying to blast you!”
    bloomph!!!
    “Eee-yowtch! Dang, Laurie Petier, that shot completely disintegrated the great, large, ultra-heavy oak chair I was hiding behind!”
    bloomph!!!
    “Stand still, Temperance!”
    bloomph!!!
    “That heavy, over-turned table will provide no refuge for you, you malnourished scare-crow!”
    bloomph!!! bloomph!!!
    bloomph!!!
    “You need to quit trying to blunderbuss me and tell us what you have done with innocent little Rhianico Miss Laurie Petier, Ma’am!”
    bloomph!!! bloomph!!!
    bloomph!!!
    “The girl is prepared for transmutation! As soon as I slay you, I shall go out to the detonation station to instigate ignition on the ultimate engagement of our ’Excoriation Process’ ! Your rolling about behind that large, upturned, black iron witch’s kettle will be of no protection to you, you despicable little excuse of a man!”
    bloomph!!! bloomph!!!
    bloomph!!!
    “Hah! That’s twelve shots you have fired at me, Laurie Petier! Now I have you at my mercy!”
    “Not when I pop out this depleted cannister” ~click~ “and quickly reinsert a fresh, loaded cannister like this!” ~click~