Free When Least Expected by Allison B. Hanson Page A

he got himself a girlfriend immediately after leaving her.
    It wasn’t like she liked being by herself, but what choice did she have? She wasn’t going to force herself into a relationship just so she didn’t have to be alone.
    â€œMaybe you should talk to someone about that,” she suggested.
    â€œI have. I talked to you,” he reasoned.
    â€œI’m a guidance counselor, not a therapist.”
    â€œStill.” He shrugged it off, missing the point.
    Ian had never been alone. His mother and older sister had taken care of him when he was little. He’d always had tons of friends and cousins to hang out with. He didn’t know how to be content on his own for very long. He would get restless and seek out companionship.
    Just like he did when they got divorced.
    â€œI guess we should get back,” she said as she stood and stretched.
    â€œI made us lunch,” he said.
    â€œThanks.”
    â€œI guess that leaves you to handle dinner, if we’re taking turns.” He grinned innocently at her, making her laugh.
    As they walked down the trail to the cabin, her hand seemed to want to reach out to him on its own. Twice she noticed his hand twitch. Maybe he was having the same problem.
    Before she realized it, they were at the Place. She had been so focused on not touching him, she hadn’t noticed which path they were taking back to the house.
    This path led them right past the downed tree where Ian had proposed.
    He had brought her to the cabin for a romantic weekend on spring break. On the way back from the lake, he’d stopped suddenly on the path, pretending he had something in his shoe. She’d sat on the benchlike branch, looking up at the trees while he bent down to remove the irritation.
    Then she felt something touch her knee, and when she looked over there, he had the ring box open, a huge grin on his face.
    It had never crossed her mind it wouldn’t last, so she’d shouted “yes” almost before he got the question out. That had been a long time ago.
    She froze at the sight of the tree and that memory.
    Ian stopped when she did, and then awareness came over his face as tears streamed down hers.
    â€œI’m sorry, Lex. I’m so stupid. I wasn’t thinking about which way we were going,” he apologized.
    She brushed the tears away quickly and gave him a strained smile.
    â€œIt’s fine. It’s not a bad memory. It’s one of my favorites. It just hit me a little hard. I’m okay.”
    For a second he looked uncomfortable as his hands flexed into fists by his side, and then he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest in a hard embrace.
    He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just held her, rubbing her back. She wasn’t crying anymore; she was too busy taking him in. She couldn’t get enough of his smell, the hardness of the muscles in his chest, and the feeling of his hands on her back.
    She felt treasured and protected, like she always had in his arms.
    â€œIt’s one of my favorite memories, too,” he whispered as he let her go.
    She instantly felt alone again.
    To cover the overpowering loss, she wrapped her arms around herself and started walking again.
    â€œWe have a lot of great memories,” she said, not looking at him.
    â€œYes, I know. I haven’t really allowed myself to think about them lately. It seemed unfair.” He sniffed and shook his head. “I hope someday you can forgive me, so I can remember all those great times without the guilt.”
    â€œYou don’t have anything to feel guilty about, Ian.”
    He nodded, but it was obvious he didn’t agree with her; he just didn’t want to argue.
    As promised, the red wine came out for dinner.
    Ian made a show of marking down how many glasses she had on the notepad hanging on the refrigerator.
    â€œI’m cutting you off after three,” he said as he helped her carry the dirty dishes to the sink and