Free On a Slippery Slope by Melody Fitzpatrick Page B

Mary-Lou looks like she is in pain and isn’t contributing a single thing to the conversation. Suddenly, a tiny squeak comes out of her, followed by a louder one, and another and another. She is trying so hard to hold it in, but her cheeks puff up with every squeak.
    â€œWell, look at that! It’s time for our first commercial break of the day,” Ron says flashing his pearly-white smile. “Don’t go away; we’ll be right back.”
    The ON AIR sign goes off and Andy rushes over to me.
    â€œWhere have you been?”
    â€œYou didn’t tell me what kind to get! Choosing cough drops is hard!” I say, holding out the bag. Andy reaches in, grabs a roll of Honey-Lemon Halls, unwraps one, and gives it to Mary-Lou .
    â€œWater, please,” Mary-Lou squeaks as she pops the cough drop in her mouth.
    I grab a bottle off of the table beside me and run it over to her.
    â€œOh, thanks, Hannah!” She grabs the bottle, unscrews the top, and takes a big swig. “You’re the best and you even got my favourite cough drops!
    â€œOh, that reminds me of a joke!” I reply, taking a swig from my own water bottle.
    â€œCan you tell it in a minute and twenty-six seconds?” Ron asks.
    â€œYeah, probably.”
    â€œGo for it,” Sue says. “ Commercial-break jokes are the best. It’s kind of like a little contest for us to see who can stop laughing first.
    â€œOkay, so a guy is walking by a cemetery, minding his own business, when a coffin suddenly bursts up from the ground and starts chasing him. The guy is so freaked out that he runs, screaming and yelling all the way home, slamming the door just in the nick of time. The coffin, not wanting to give up, starts banging on the door, harder and harder until the door starts splitting into pieces. ‘Help me someone, please!’ the guy screams, thinking that he’s done for. Suddenly, his wife comes tearing down the stairs with a roll of cough drops in her hand.
    â€œâ€˜Throw these at it,’ she orders.
    â€œâ€˜Why?’ he hollers.
    â€œHis wife answers, ‘Because cough drops always stop the coffin!’”
    â€œOh!” Ron taps his hands on the desk and says, “ ba-dum -bump.”
    â€œI don’t get it.” Sue shakes her head.
    â€œ Sue … the cough drop stopped the coffin. It’s a play on words; you know, coffin and coughing ,” Mary-Lou explains.

    â€œOh …” Sue chuckles. “That’s bad.”
    Ron lets out a sudden snort, and then another, and then another. The three of them look at each other blankly for a second and then they burst into a fit of laughter. In seconds, Ron is doubled over, eyes watering. Just as he starts to regain control, he looks at Sue, who is bursting at the seams, and cracks up all over again.
    Oh my gosh, this is bad! How are they going to pull it together before the commercial is over?
    â€œTen seconds to air, people!” Andy yells, pressing her palms downward in the air.
    â€œNine … eight …”
    Mary-Lou seems to have the most control until she looks over at Ron, who is actually getting worse, snorting uncontrollably with tears streaming down his cheeks.
    â€œSeven … six … five …” Andy points at Synora from makeup and then points at Ron. Synora runs on set and dabs at Ron’s face. This makes Sue laugh even harder.
    What if they can’ t stop? OMG … this is my fault! Who would tell a joke during commercial break on a live TV? I am going to be so fired!
    â€œFour …” Andy continues her countdown, silently using her fingers, three … two … one.
    Instantly, as if by magic, everyone stops laughing. No one would ever guess that the anchors were in hysterics just two seconds earlier.
    â€œSue, so tell us about this new project you are working on,” Ron says.
    â€œRon, it’s amazing. We’re so excited to get started.” Sue beams.