Free I’m Special by Ryan O’Connell

fearless. Most people who have achieved a modicum of success right after they graduated did it by being brave and laughing at anyone who told them no. In order to get anywhere, you have to ditch vanity and ego and just say to yourself, “I’m going to look like an idiot for the next few years because I have no idea what I’m doing, but that’s okay. That’s the only way I’ll learn.” I’ve noticed that a lot of my peers have paralyzing self-doubt when it comes to going after the things they want, whether it’s a job or a love interest. It makes me think that if you’re single, jobless, or both, it’s probably because you have a hard time believing you deserve otherwise.
    I was having drinks recently with a friend and we were gossiping about an acquaintance of ours who had launched a Kickstarter to film a web series. The premise of the show sounded awful, and the video she made to plead her case was cringeworthy.
    â€œShe looks so ridiculous,” I snarled. “How could she have done that and thought she looked okay?”
    My friend, who is less of a mean gossip girl than I am, said, “You know what? I agree that she looks totally stupid, but I also give her props for putting herself out there. At least she’s doing something. Think about all our friends who are unemployed or working at jobs they hate. They talk about all the things they’d like to do, but do they ever end up doing them? No. And that’s why people who make embarrassing Kickstarters will probably be more successful than the lazy people who have loads of talent. They’re actually doing it, and sometimes that’s all you need for things to happen.”
    My friend was right. A week later, the Kickstarter got funded and our acquaintance quit her job to film the web series. I thought about all the people who, like me, had seen the Kickstarter and immediately sent it to their friends to mock her. They were probably bored at their horrible office job and perked up when they saw a chance to make fun of one of their peers. But who gets the last laugh in that situation? The person who is given the opportunity to do what they love or the insecure jerk who’s stuck in a cubicle?
    Not giving a fuck about looking stupid is actually the smartest decision you could make, especially when you’re establishing yourself after college and have nothing to lose. The only way you can really escape unemployment hell is by taking some risks. Don’t be frightened. You can do it, babe! Don’t ever forget that Millennials are hustlers. We left school with no clear future and the traditional workplace in pieces, so we had to create our own jobs and build everything from our own intuition. That’s one thing twentysomethings don’t get enough credit for. The narrative is always “Millennials are bums who live with their parents”—which, fine, that contains an element of truth—but we’re also innovative freaks who have a remarkable ability to turn nothing into something.
    A year after I graduated from college, I had four internships under my belt and only an Etch A Sketch to show for it. On my twenty-fourth birthday, I was set to start my fifth internship but never ended up going. Instead, I retreated into a writing cave for four months in the hope that something, anything , would happen. When I emerged, I had a full-time job and a ticket to a world even scarier than unemployment: the modern workplace.

Young Unprofessional
    Ryan, you cannot survive in the real world. Once people figure out that you don’t know how to do anything, your days are numbered. You will never be able to hold down a job. Everybody gets it but you.
    â€”Me, on the eve of starting my first job (LOL, bye!)
    Is it possible to have a legitimate phobia of having a job? I don’t mean like, “Oh my God, I’m too lazy to work. Please let me just lie in bed and listen to sad, fuzzy music