Free The Tay Is Wet by Ben Ryan

doghouse they flopped
    It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

13
H OLIDAYS W ITH T AY
    The Swandleys came to Roggart during the very hot summer of fifty four. They arrived in a maroon-coloured Ford van which was towing a blue and white caravan. They said they were city people but this was debated by the locals. They rolled into the Deery farmyard one evening in late July and asked Sonny, who was tidying up, if they could have a drink of water. They explained that they were on holidays for two weeks and wanted to stay in the countryside. They were a cheerful group numbering about seven or eight and ranging in age from baby to sixtyish. The most senior male figure got out of the van, looked around and observed, ‘Is dere many rabbits around here?’
    ‘The place is full of them, they’re a bloomin’ pest,’ said Sonny.
    ‘Dat field dere would be ideal, mister, do you tink we could stay dere for a few days, we wouldn’t be any truble an we’d pay you mister?’
    Sonny agreed and the first year’s Swandley summer fortnight passed off without much incident. They were a source of amuse ment to the locals as they always went out in the early hours of the morning and came back laden with rabbits which they skinned, cooked and ate, around an outdoor fire. The womenfolk called several times a day to Sonny’s wife, Henrietta, to borrow a grain of tay or sugar. They also came again the next year, with the same van and caravan, and their numbers had increased to about a dozen. The Deerys and other locals got to know several of the Swandleys by name.
    There was the family patriarch, Peter “Snare” Swandley and his wife, Grainne, and their family of three boys, Bartler, a dapper “ladies” man, Robert known as “Razor” and the youngest boy, Eammo, who was twelve years old. There were four girls, three of whom were married with babies. The eldest girl, Grace, was single. She was tall and rangy and the men all agreed she was the best rabbit catcher in the family. Her ears stuck out prominently and they said she took size ten boots. She became very friendly with Henrietta and confided to her that she had wanted to be a nun when she left school, but her ma and da had soon put a stop to that idea. She now worked in a toy shop near her home.
    The second year’s holiday was a bit more controversial among the locals. The Swandley area of operation widened outward as they foraged for food. Potatoes, turnips and rabbits were their most preferred foods. One evening Ivor Nale returned from work and came across Bartler digging potatoes in his garden. Ivor walked quietly up behind him and then said in a loud voice,
    ‘Well, Bartler, do you think are they fit enough to come out yet?’
    A startled Bartler turned around.
    ‘Well, dey’re nearly dere, sir, dey might be better in another week or so, I was just going to pay for dese few I was diggin’ for de childers’ dinner. Be gob we Swandleys always pay our way. How much do I owe you sir?’
    ‘You can have those for the childer, but next time go to the greengrocer, you’ll find he’s cheaper than me.’
    The third year the Swandleys again arrived on cue as July was drawing to a close and this time their population showed a definite increase and two caravans were dragged into the Deery field. They had always had a few dogs, mainly small terriers for hunting rabbits, but now they had five or six large wolf-like Alsatians. The locals viewed these with alarm. Rumours gradually spread around the village about sheep being chased and killed, about young children being scared to pass by the Deery farmhouse and about cyclists being chased on the road. Although these were unproven and simply rumours, the result was that a deputation of Roggart parents came to Sonny and asked him to remove the holiday-makers at once, before something serious occurred.
    Sonny went into the caravan field and sought out the leader, “Snare.” He told him that one week was all they could stay for this year