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way down my neck and back up to my ear.
    “Lost my touch?”
    “Yep,” I close my eyes and lie trying to hide how much that kiss affects me. “And don’t ever kiss me again. Ew.” I push him away and quickly turn my head so he doesn’t know what he’s doing to me.
    “And why is that?”
    “You’re not my type.”
    This causes him to kink his brow and study me some more. I should know better than to lie to him. Mason’s been taught and trained to read people. He understands body language and can smell a lie from a mile away.
    “I see. Well,” he stretches and my eyes catch his abs. Damn you, Mason. “Right,” he laughs again and finishes his breakfast. “Baby you have no idea how I am. You’ve never had the pleasure of getting with me.”
    “And I never will.”
    “You couldn’t handle me. That kiss,” he says, “that kiss nearly broke you. You melted in my arms. I guarantee one night with me and you’ll be screaming my name, feeling me for days and coming back for more.”
    I hold up my hand to him and make him stop talking. “Ew. I wouldn’t. We wouldn’t. I don’t swoon over you like other women. Mase, I mean there’s just something about you that isn’t sitting right.”
    “Wait,” he puts up a hand. “I just gave you a hot ass kiss and you still can’t admit how sexy I am?”
    “Oh hush. Like my opinion matters,” I wave him off. Getting up from the barstool I take his plate to the sink and look over my shoulder to see his reaction. He’s staring at me again with his fuck me eyes. Quickly I look away and try to catch my breath. This is Mason; the guy I’ve known since high school; the best man at our wedding; the man I trust completely. Why am I having these thoughts? Shouldn’t I be grieving still? It’s only been nine months since Evan died and here I am smiling, laughing, and staring at his best friend. I’m a horrible wife. I’m a horrible person.
    Evan and I never really talked about what life would be like if either of us passed away. We have wills, Evan’s idea, and I still haven’t opened the box our lawyer gave me. I can’t bring myself to do so. I know this isn’t what Evan wants. He’d want me to be happy again. He’d want me to live and go back to teaching. When you lose someone you love as much as I love Evan you forget how to breathe and the world around you stops spinning because life doesn’t seem possible without him with you. The days and nights fall in together and you’re not sure what day it is or how long you’ve been crying. You forget what’s important and why being happy again means something.
    Is there life after losing your heart?
    I feel strong hands on my shoulders and his hard chest against my back. “You okay?”
    “Just thinking,” I whisper, “about how ugly you are.” I hear a wounded gasp and he lets me go. Turning around I see Mason leaning against the counter with a grin on his face. “What?”
    “Na, nothing. I’m going to finish washing your car. Do you need anything?”
    “No I’m okay. I’m actually going to take a nap,” I rub my face and blow out the breath I’ve been holding.
    “When you wake up we’ll go for a run.”
    “Sounds good.” I reach out and touch his arm. “Thank you again for everything Mason. I know I told you I didn’t need you, but actually I do. I need a friend to put me in my place. Thanks for not letting me stay in bed.”
    “You’re welcome. Plus if I let you do that Evan would kick my ass.”
    I smile, “Yeah.”
    When I get upstairs to my bedroom I crawl into bed and under the covers. Closing my eyes I see Evan’s face and the past comes back to me.
    Kisses on my forehead are the best kind of kisses, especially kisses from my handsome husband.
    “Good morning, angel.”
    “Mmmm, good morning to you.” I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. He hovers over me and kisses my lips. “You look so hot right now.”
    “Yeah I know.” Evan laughs and kisses me again. When he places