Free My Jim by Nancy Rawles Page B

sees or hears nothing of Jim after that.
    Every day I worries more. My chest hurt I so lonely for him. The children grow weak cause they aint got they daddy to bring them meat.
    One morning Emma wake me up to tell me Jim run off. At first I aint believes it. I knows my Jim. He aint gonna run without coming for me and the children. But Emma say he done run off without us.
    Him and me we talks bout running the last time we together. Cant leaves the children with Mas Stevens we says. No telling what gonna happen to them. Jonnie just a little boy but Lizbeth already with the womens. They plenty old to run. So I knows it aint true that Jim gone off without us.
    I aint believe it till the patrollers come round. They got they dogs and they looking for Jim.
    He been here aint he.
    I aint seen him I says.
    They throw me on the ground in front of my children.
    You lying nigger.
    They take out the whip.
    I gots nothing to tell you.
    They start hitting me.
    It raining that day too. Been raining a long time. Round the cabins aint nothing but mud. I laying face down in the mud and the mud feel cool gainst my skin. I thinks of myself face down in the river. Swallow up by them muddy waters.
    Jonnie screaming. He grab hold to Emma. I cant sees Lizbeth. She hiding like I all the way tells her to.
    They put the dogs on me. They barking and sniffing. I can sees they gums. I covers my head. I cant hears nothing cept the barking in my ears.
    Then the gun go off. The patrollers call the dogs back. Mas Stevens come see whats going on.
    You leave my nigger lone he say. I takes care of her.
    He stamp his cane on the ground.
    Two niggers pick me up and drag me to the packhouse. Quiet in there. The tobacco still low in the fields and everything just watching and waiting. They tie me up with a looping stick under my knees.
    My arms pull back behind me. My bones stretch long like the limbs on a sycamore. Lord I be pain. And what they doing with my children.
    I tries to sleep but its hard to let myself fall away. I thinks I aint never gonna come back. I close my eyes when I cant keeps them open but I aint knows sleep. My throat so parched I cant cries out if I wants to. The blood from the beating sticking to my back. The mud still on my face. I tries to hold on cause I cant leaves my children. Not like this. I wants them to see me strong again.
    Days fore they lets me out the packhouse. When they open the door they find me pass out.
    I comes to in the fields. I scared they already find Jim. And they taking me out so I can sees his shame.
    But nobody say nothing bout Jim. They let me out to tend the crop.
    My dress stick to my back with blood. My arms aching bout to fall off. Banes push me to go faster. He say I aint seen nothing yet. Lizbeth come with some water. I bends down and I cant gets up. She look at me all sorrowful. She dip her finger in the water and put it to my lips. I casts my eyes down so she know to turn away fore Banes come after her.
    That night she put the grease on me and pull the dress off my back. I too weak to scream. It hurt my daughter to see me this way. What kind of life she gonna face now her daddy gone.
    I dreams bout dogs. In my dreams I sees Jim running from dogs. He in the woods falling over branches and roots. He falling trying to find his way to the river. He swim the river. The river pull him down and wash him up on one of them islands. The hunters and woodcutters come after him. I wakes up in a sweat with them dogs at my heels.
    Jonnie sleeping in the corner. He shaking with a chill so I covers him with my quilt. He stop talking Jonnie. The patrollers been round again. They scare him so bad he cant speak. Like they done cut the tongue out his mouth. Lizbeth aint speak much anymore. So I got two children quiet like the moon. Quiet and hungry like the moon.
    Raining again. Maybe they aint find my Jim cause of the rains. I thinks of him with his hat on his head. Or maybe he take it off and use it to catch rainwater. Long as I