people around them. She’s trying to be strong all the time, but everybody needs to fall apart a little every now and then. It’s what makes us human—the ability to be brave enough to show our weaknesses. And yet human nature is also to fight it, to pretend we’re unaffected by tragedy and heartache.
“Would you like me to stay a while longer and watch the girls?” Things at the club aren’t exactly rocketing along for me to get to Elena any time soon, and I haven’t heard back from Sully or her with information on how we can pull this off, either. I’ve got a little time.
Shanaya’s head whips around, and she wipes madly at the moisture beneath her eyes as she lets out a lifeless laugh. “I’m sorry, I just needed a moment.”
“No need to apologize.”
She sighs and slips off the stool, walking across to fuss with the utensils beside the cooktop. “I was supposed to have what I wanted on his headstone to the funeral home by this afternoon, but I can’t sum him up in a few words.”
“Then don’t.” I take her vacated seat and lean both elbows on the island. “Make the message one to him, instead of to the world. Don’t tell whoever is reading the epitaph about him—tell us what you would say to him if you were given one last chance.”
She stares at me a beat, and then nods as she blinks rapidly. “I can do that.”
I watch as Shanaya whips around the room to gather up a pen and paper, and scribbles down a few frantic lines. She chews on the end of the ballpoint, scratches out words, and draws lines to reorder the sentences before she re-writes the final message and passes it over.
My chest tightens at the honor of being shown the words poured from her heart, at the sentiment behind them. She watches with her bottom lip pinched between her teeth while I bow my head and begin to read.
You told me after every dark night comes a dawn,
But without your light I’ll forever stand in the shadows.
Her honest words slice straight through me. None of this is fair. Before me stands a woman, a mother, who’s lost her soul mate for something as fucking trivial as a turf war. All the Eagles want is our territory, and in the process they’ve taken a man from his family, torn the lives of the innocent apart.
Nothing can justify that loss. Fuck pride, fuck loyalty, and fuck bragging rights—this bullshit has to stop.
I slip the paper back over before my rage gets the better of me and I crumple it in my fist. “It’s beautiful, Shay.”
She nods, her eyes glassy as tears drop from her jaw to the faded cotton of her shirt. “Thank you.”
With my arms outstretched, I usher her in for a hug. She wraps herself about me and buries her head under my chin. “You need anything, no matter what time of day it is, you just call. Got it?”
She nods while her tears wet the front of my shirt.
“I mean it. Even if it’s two in the morning and the kids wake up with a nightmare that you can’t handle, you call. You might be in the shadows, but the sun still shines.”
NINE
Elena
The water is warm as I glide on my back, my arms circling every so often to keep me afloat in the pool while I look for patterns in the clouds. The weightlessness is heaven on my increasingly sore feet; who would have thought an extra pound or two could cause so much discomfort. The pamphlets the doc left me have been my saving grace, teaching me all the nuances about pregnancy I didn’t know. I don’t dare use the Internet for fear Carlos will see my browsing history.
That’s one conversation I’ll never be ready to have.
“Elena.”
I roll my head to the left. Water blocks my ear and makes my hearing cloudy as Sully comes to a stop beside the pool.
“Thought you’d like to know I’m taking the tyrant out for a while.”
“Thank you.” I drop my legs and tread water until I float across to the shallower end. “How long do you think?”
“Destination is forty minutes away, so you’ll probably have an