Free Oppressed by Kira Saito

thoughts. Did I really
have a choice? I didn’t feel as if I had one.
    I got up and started to pace again when I
heard a familiar voice whisper, “Cecile.”
    “ Antoine?” I walked out
onto my balcony. “What are you doing here? Maman’s going to kill
the both of us.”
    “ I need to you speak with you.”
His voice was determined, and when the moonlight hit his green eyes
and kissed his brown skin he appeared angelic. “I’m coming
up.”
    “ No. Don’t you dare!” I
said even though I was ecstatic to see him.
    He ignored me and climbed up onto the
balcony.
    “ Romeo, oh Romeo, have you come
to save me? Or are you plain mad?” I gave him a big hug and noticed
that his body was rigid and tense. “Why are you here? Is everything
alright?” I searched his anxious face for an answer.
    He took my hands into his and peered deep
into my eyes. He took a deep breath. “I love you,
Cecile.”
    “ I know. I love you
too.”
    He sighed. “ Non , I love you as in, I love you more
than air, water, my Maman’s corn calas and everything else that is under the sun.
Marry me.”
    I froze and placed my hand on his
forehead. “Oh no! Don’t tell me you’ve come down with the
Fever.”
    He pulled me close to him and I
willingly rested my head on his chest as I had done so many times
in the past. “Marry me, Cecile. I’m serious.”
    I looked up into his sincere eyes.
“Antoine, you know I love you as a brother but I can’t marry you
because you feel as if you have to save me. I’m going to be fine.”
I swallowed the massive lump that seemed to be a permanent fixture
in my throat.
    He let out a low sigh. “I see you as
more than a sister, Cecile. I always have.”
    “ I’m sorry. I don’t feel
that way about you,” I said slowly. It was horribly painful to say
that out loud. Antoine winced as if I had just slapped
him.
    “ Why, Cecile! Why can’t you
marry me? Is it because I don’t have noble blood coursing through
my veins? Or is it because I’m a gen de couleur libre that offends your Maman
so?”
    “ Antoine, you know none of those
reasons are true. I am in the exact same position as you. We’re
both trapped in a fragile world that rests between privilege and
oppression, but that doesn’t mean we should cling to one another
out of fear. If I agreed to marry you it would all be a lie. Plaçage is what it is.
There are no deceptions with mariages de la main gauche .”
    He looked up at the stars and took a deep
breath. “I can’t bear the thought of you giving yourself over to
some stranger for some so-called security, protection, the illusion
that you’re somehow rising above your class and some shiny
trinkets, just because it’s what your Maman wants.”
    “ And I can’t bear the
thought of marrying you just because you can’t bear the thought of
me giving myself over to a stranger. You deserve someone who loves
you entirely and completely,” I said as I freed myself from him and
stepped back.
    “ And you?” His nostrils flared
and I immediately knew that he was annoyed. “What do you deserve? A
married man who sees you as no more than a fashion statement? A
pretty mistress who only further strokes his ego and caters to his
lust for extravagance and domination? He’ll see you no more than a
very beautiful possession! And you, Cecile, are much more than a
pretty bird. You’ll never be content being locked up in a cage,
regardless of how luxurious and comforting it may be.”
    I shrugged and looked at my bare feet.
“Not all of them are married or get married… And there are
long-term promises, commitments, property and security,” I
reasoned, avoiding his rather difficult question. “Who knows, I may
even fall in love…”
    “ Tell me, what you
deserve?” he asked again, as he tilted my head up from its low
position.
    “ Please, Antoine.” I turned my
head to the side in order to avoid his hard gaze. “I need your
support, not your judgment. This situation is difficult enough.