Free Back to the Fuchsia by Melanie James

to feed on each other’s angst and collective self-doubt in order to express what, in effect, is simply just another tidily packaged and labeled cultural stereotype’. Geesh! Whatever the hell he meant by all that! Like I actually understood any of it. Yeah, so I decided to swim up the mainstream and become a poverty-stricken underprivileged waitress.”
    “Wow! I didn’t know all that, Jessica. Anyway, Ezzy. Yes, you and I are witches. In fact, you are senior to me. You’re 387 years old, but you don’t look a day over twenty-seven. I’m only 161 years old, but I’ve only been fully alive for twenty-six years because most of that time I was basically an ice sculpture, thanks to some poor decisions on my part.”
    Ezzy slumped to the floor and curled up like a cat, mumbling absolute gibberish. You sometimes hear people say something strange in times of utter desperation, like they could just curl up in the fetal position and cry. But when someone actually does it? Let me tell you, it was really quite a sight to behold.
    “Ezzy? Ezzy?” I poked her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
    “What’s wrong with her, Gertie? Is there anything you can do?”
    “Hmm, well, I’m no gynecologist, but I’d say it’s her brain. She isn’t acting like the Ezzy I know, that’s for sure. It’s all the more reason to find a witch or wizard around here.”

Chapter 13
    The New Ezzy
    I t took nearly twenty minutes of sobbing before Ezzy managed to sit up. “I’ve lost my mind. I started off like a blank canvas here, and over the past year, I’ve coped by painting a version of my life on the duke’s estate. Actually thought I was doing quite well, then you two show up with your fantastic tales. I don’t know what to think.”
    “Ezzy, trust me. I can get you home and back to your old self again. If you let me.”
    “Where do we start? You realize you are not free to just ramble about the countryside. You are expected at court tonight. I’ll stay close by and keep the wolves at bay. And trust me, there are plenty of those.”
    “But I’d love to pet a big fluffy wolf!” Jessica squealed as she put her hands on my cheeks and rubbed her face on mine, as if I was a big cuddly Saint Bernard dog.
    “Me, too!” I squealed.
    “No. The wolves I’m talking about are men. They may be hairy, big, and sometimes they may howl, or they may even be cute, but that’s where it ends. These wolves devour pretty young women like you.”
    “Oh, I get it,” Jessica and I replied in harmony.
    “In the future, am I like the two of you? You know, um…how do I say this nicely? Guess there isn’t a polite way to say it.”
    Ezzy paused and took a deep breath. “I’m just going to ask it. In the future, am I an idiot, too? Because if that’s the case, I’m staying right here.”
    I gave her the biggest hug I could. “Now there’s the Esmeralda we all know and love! No, you’re not an idiot at all. You’re a smart, successful, sexy, confident woman. And of course, you’re a very capable witch with a wicked sense of humor, and you can be quite sarcastic.”
    Jessica was staring at the wall, lost in thought. Suddenly, she jumped and waved her arms over her head. “Yes! I just had a great idea, guys. So check this out. Ezzy, you said you were like a blank canvas and you had to paint your life. Paint! You said ‘paint’. How about that for a homeschooled idiot.”
    Ezzy’s hand lightly rested on Jessica’s shoulders. “Jessica, I really didn’t mean it in a bad way when I called you two idiots. I just…”
    “No, not that. Don’t you get it? You can find us some paint, Gertie can use her magic to make it enchanted, time traveling paint, just like she made at home. We’ll create a new time travel portal back to the future! That way, we don’t even need to worry about sneaking out and finding the place we fell from.” Jessica crossed her arms and leaned back, her chin tilted up with pride.
    I actually hated having to be