Free Scars of the Past by Kay Gordon

just imitations of the real thing.
    I stared at that picture a little while longer and then shook my head, as if to clear it of the reminiscent thoughts. Things had changed a lot since then. He didn’t seem like the same Josh and I definitely wasn’t the same Maddie.
    I placed my cup in the sink and headed back to my room. I tried my hardest to sleep, but instead ended up tossing and turning until the sun started to come up. When I heard Amanda head out the front door for her morning run, I decided it was probably time for me to get up. And probably time for me to call someone, too.

Chapter Seven
    By the time we got to campus on Monday, I tried to be more involved with my friends and the classes, especially since Brianna and Aaron were started to show some concern. I felt like the façade was working at school, but I knew that even though it wasn’t working at home, the girls were trying not to be so obvious.
    At lunch time, I had told Sydney that I needed to talk to a professor and that I’d see her at the end of the day. Instead, I found a quiet spot near the student union and worked up the courage to call the number Josh had given me.
    I wasn’t sure I wanted to do individual therapy just yet, but I had decided that going to a support group, where it wasn’t mandatory that I talked, probably couldn’t hurt. The lady on the phone had been very soft spoken and friendly when I could barely manage to get the words out of my mouth. She explained that the group met every Tuesday evening at a church located in downtown Sacramento, and that everything that was said while in group was to remain confidential.
    I didn’t want to tell the girls about the group, not right away at least. They would make a big deal about it, maybe even expect it to be immediately helpful, and I didn’t think I could take seeing the disappointment in their eyes.
    After classes were over, we headed towards my mom’s house for Matthew’s last night before he went back on duty.
    Amanda shook me awake, and I realized I had fallen asleep in the car.  “Maddie, we’re at your mom’s house.”
    I climbed out of the backseat of the car and led my friends inside the house, not bothering to knock before I opened the front door.
    “Mom, Matt?” I called, dropping my purse on the sofa table as I walked through the living room.
    My mom answered from the kitchen, and I rounded the corner to see her chopping vegetables, her eyes full of tears.
    I glanced back at my friends, and they understood my quick look and continued on to the back patio.
    “Hey mama,” I said quietly, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
    “Hey baby girl.” She put down the knife, wiped her hands, and turned around so she could return the embrace.
    “How are you feeling?” She pulled back a little and inspected me like I could possibly have changed since the night before.
    “About the same,” I replied honestly, knowing better than to lie to my mom’s face.
    She just nodded in understanding and let out a big sigh. “I wish I could just lock you two in your bedrooms and keep you safe there forever.”
    “Us Thomas kids are tough, Ma. You made sure of that.” Matthew walked through the back door, and put his arms around mom and me.  “Soon, I will be back for good and you two will be sick of me.”
    We stood there like that for a few moments before mom shooed us both back outside, insisting she didn’t want any help with dinner.
    Amanda and Sydney were jumping on the old trampoline; both of them laughing like maniacs as they let took turns bouncing the other as high as they could.
    I stood next to Matthew and leaned into him. “Please be careful out there. I really wish you didn’t have to go back.”
    He put an arm around me and kept staring out into the back yard. “I don’t like leaving you guys, but even more so now. I hate leaving you knowing that prick is still out there somewhere.”
    “No. Please don’t worry about me over there,” I looked up at