Free Scars of the Past by Kay Gordon Page B

run,” she grumbled as walked towards the bathroom.
    “You’re so weird,” I replied, turning to give her a smile.
    She smirked and stuck her tongue out before shutting the bathroom door.
    I moved back into the bedroom, getting dressed and purposely avoiding my phone. I was torn because I wanted a message from him but I didn’t at the same time.
    After about forty-five minutes, I was dressed and ready for class, but also out of reasons to avoid my phone.
    Picking it up, I held my breath as I opened the text app. When I saw he had sent two new messages, I exhaled in relief before feeling irritated with myself that he still affected me so much.
    Josh: I hate disappointing you. I feel like it’s all I’ve done in two years. But I want you to know how sorry I am for it all- For leaving like I did, for not keeping in touch, and most of all, for not saving you. I’ll never forgive myself for that night.
    Tears formed in my eyes, and I had to blink really fast to avoid letting them run down my cheeks before I scrolled to the next one.
    Josh: I’ve missed talking to you so much. You looked really beautiful the other night, not that you don’t always look beautiful, but seeing you so happy with your family makes you shine.
    My heart squeezed, but a part of me wondered if I could fall back into that easy friendship with Josh when I’d imagined us being more at the end.
    I didn’t reply, instead I just stuffed my phone into my purse before heading out to the living room. Amanda was sitting on the couch restlessly flipping through the TV channels quickly. I dropped down next to her and put my feet up on the coffee table.
    “We need to get you a treadmill or something. I almost killed you last winter, and I’m not sure our friendship can survive another.”
    She dropped the remote in frustration and sighed. “I know. I keep thinking about it, but usually when the weather is nice so it never happens.” She glanced at me. “Matt make it to the airport okay?”
    “Yup,” I confirmed, picking up the remote and changing the channel to the news station. “Just have to get through these next two months and then these stupid farewells are done.”
    She nodded and we stared at the TV for a little while until Sydney emerged from the master bedroom.
    “Next semester I am taking all late classes. This getting up with the sun stuff is for the chickens.” She poured her coffee into her mug and picked up her keys. “Let’s go.”
    “You guys go ahead, I’m going to drive myself,” I said, grabbing my own keys.
    “Why?” Sydney looked at me, confused. “What’s wrong?”
    I rolled my eyes, and gave her a nudge with my shoulder. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just behind on my homework and I’m going to stay late today.”
    Amanda frowned. “We can stay with you.”
    I shook my head quickly. “No, it’s okay. I really could use very little distractions.”
    Neither looked like they believed me, and I wasn’t surprised- I had always been a bad liar. But in the end they took off and I followed suit not too long after.

Chapter Eight
    After my last class, I sat in the library working on what little homework I did have until it was time to go to the group.
    I found a spot near the church to park and I turned off my car, but didn’t get out. I was nervous to reopen the wounds that seemed to have temporarily scabbed over that weekend. I stared at the church until the very last possible second and then I heaved myself out of the car. My feet felt like lead as I approached the door, and I took a deep breath as I opened it and stepped through.
    I walked by a sign that read ‘Surviving Domestic and Sexual Abuse- a support group for women. Tuesdays @ 6:00 PM’ and in smaller writing below it listed the dates and times for the group for men, and a group for both genders.  I walked into the church gym and I was surprised at how many people were there. I was expecting it to be just a few, but I counted thirteen other women sitting in