Free Mr. Hynde Is Out of His Mind! by Dan Gutman Page B

was gone. So as soon as she left the room, me and Michael and Ryan got up and shook our butts at the class. Most of the kids laughed.
    That’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened.

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The One-Man Funky Groove Machine
    First this weird purple smoke started pouring out on the floor in the front of the music room. Then the sound of drums started pounding out of a boom box on Mr. Loring’s desk. Then the lights went out and these laser beams started shooting around the music room in alldifferent colors. It was cool!
    Suddenly two men ran into the room and started dancing around. They were wearing football jerseys and baseball caps and holding microphones.
    â€œOoh, hats aren’t allowed in school,” I heard Andrea say to Emily. “Those men are going to get in trouble.”
    One of the guys started clapping his hands over his head to the drumbeat. The other one yelled into his microphone.
    â€œAre you ready for some music class?” the guy screamed.
    We all looked at one another. We’re not supposed to yell in school. But Miss Daisywasn’t there, so I figured it was okay.
    â€œYeah!” I yelled.
    â€œI SAID, ‘ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MUSIC CLASS?’” the guy repeated.
    â€œYeah!” everybody yelled.
    â€œAre you ready to get down?” the guy screamed.
    â€œWe’re already down!” somebody yelled.
    â€œAnd now, second graders…appearing live and in person at Ella Mentry School…is the one…the only…Jam Master Hynde, the One-Man Funky Groove Machine! Give it up, y’all! ’Cause Mr. Hynde is in the house!”

    The two guys ran out the door. Thedrums got louder. The lights got brighter. Andrea and Emily put their hands over their ears.
    That’s when Mr. Hynde ran in the door. He was a lot younger than Mr. Loring. He had on a baseball cap too, and he was wearing this big purple cape with sequins all over it. He had on sunglasses, too, even though he was inside. I guess that was to protect his eyes from the laser beams.
    â€œOoh, he’s really cute!” all the girls said.
    â€œPut your hands together!” Mr. Hynde screamed. “I said, ‘PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER!’”
    We all started clapping. Mr. Hyndedanced around awhile, and then he threw off his purple cape and started rapping to the beat:
    â€œOld Mr. Loring he was over the hill.
    So the board of education told him he would have to chill.
    My name is Hynde, and I’m gonna blow your mind.
    I ain’t no music teacher, I’m a born music creature.
    â€™Cause my daddy’s name was Amos, but he never became famous.
    So he took me on his lap, and he taught me how to rap.
    I can rhyme any line. I got juice like Dr. Seuss.
    Until I hit it big, I got this teaching gig.
    So sit back on your pants and dig my new break dance.”
    Mr. Hynde got down on the floor and started spinning around on his back like a top. Then he started spinning on his head!
    It was cool.
    Finally the music and lasers stopped, and the regular lights came back on. Mr. Hynde took off his sunglasses and put on regular glasses. He was panting like a dog after a hard game of fetch.
    Me and Ryan and Michael got up and gave him a standing ovation, and the rest of the class joined in too.
    Well, everybody except for Andrea and Emily. They just sat there, with their mouths open and their eyes all big like they just saw an alien spaceship or something.
    â€œYo, what up, homeys?” asked Mr. Hynde.
    â€œAre you our new music teacher?” asked Michael.
    â€œTrue that!” said Mr. Hynde. “What do you think I am, brother, your dentist? Welcome to music, second grade! I’m here to rock your world.”
    â€œI liked Mr. Loring,” Andrea whined.
    Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her! Finally there was something at school that Andrea didn’t like.

    Anything Andrea doesn’t like, I like. And anything Andrea likes, I don’t like.