Free Black Rabbit Summer by Kevin Brooks Page A

skin was tingling all over, my whole body was buzzing with a warm liquid energy.
    Nic said, ‘And now we’ll probably never see each other again.’
    We looked at each other, knowing each other.
    Nothing needed saying.
    Nic’s eyes never left mine as she sat back and started to ease off her vest. I watched, mesmerized, as she crossed her arms, slowly pulled the vest over her head, and dropped it to the ground. I tried to stay cool, forcing myself to concentrate on her eyes… but it wasn’t easy. Her eyes were burning into me now, watching my reaction as she raised her arms and ran her fingers through her hair, subtly flexing her body.
    ‘You can look if you want,’ she said.
    I looked.
    She moved her hands slowly down her belly, rested them for a moment on the waist of her jeans, and then she started popping open the buttons. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was sit there and watch, all dreamy and stupid, as she leaned back a little, slid out of her jeans, then got down on all fours and started crawling towards me.
    She looked like some kind of miracle beast – her naked flesh in the candlelight, her dark eyes on fire – and for a second or two I felt strangely frightened. But the fear was nothing compared to everything else I was feeling. I was physically hurting now. Aching inside. My heart was pumping so hard that I thought it was going to burst out of my skin.
    As Nic crawled up to me, I started moving my legs to give her some room.
    ‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘Just stay there.’
    She got to her knees, straddled my lap, and leaned in close to me, resting her hands on my shoulders.
    ‘I’m not hurting you, am I?’ she asked.
    I shook my head.
    ‘Good.’ She smiled. ‘I wouldn’t want to hurt you.’
    ‘No…’ I muttered.
    She stared into my eyes for a moment, her head cocked slightly to one side, then she gently ran her finger down my face.
    ‘What are you thinking about?’ she said.
    I wanted to say – what do you think I’m thinking about? – but I didn’t. I just looked at her.
    She smiled again. ‘You know what you said about Stella earlier on?’
    ‘Stella…?’
    ‘Yeah, you know… when you told Pauly that you hadn’t seen those pictures of her on the Internet.’ Nic raised her eyebrows at me. ‘Is that right? You really haven’t seen them?’
    I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to think about Stella… I didn’t want to think about anything. I put my hands on Nic’s hips.
    ‘I’m not interested in Stella,’ I said, trying to change the subject.
    Nic took hold of my hands, keeping them still. ‘No,’ she said, ‘neither am I. I’m just curious, that’s all.’
    I felt the first flutter of something I didn’t want to feel then.
    Nic said, ‘You don’t mind me asking, do you?’
    ‘No,’ I sighed, ‘of course not. I just don’t see –’
    ‘I only want to know if you’ve seen them or not.’
    Her voice was a little bit slurred now, and there was something unsettling in her eyes – a strange kind of uncontrolled steadiness.
    She carried on smiling at me. ‘Can you imagine how Stella must feel? I mean, she must know what everyone’s doing when they look at those pictures… how do you think that makes her feel?’
    I shook my head. ‘I’m not sure I really want to talk about it –’
    ‘I mean, God… if that was me…’ She looked away for a moment, her eyes gazing at nothing, then suddenly she turned back to me. ‘Would you look at naked pictures of me on the Internet?’
    ‘Listen, Nic –’
    ‘No, come on, Pete,’ she said, pouting her lips and running her fingers through her hair. ‘What d’you think?’ She struck a pose – hands behind her head, thrusting herself forward – and although I knew she was only joking, mocking the artificiality of pornographic pictures, I kind of got the impression that she was only half-joking too. But while a part of me was still in thrall to the miracle of her