Free All Dogs are Blue by Rodrigo Souza Leao Page A

over a thousand followers. We lived off what we grew in the big vegetable garden on the old campground. We built houses. Many rich people joined the ranks of Todog and donated lots of money to help make it an official foundation. Over time it became necessary to put some controls in place. Each new member had to spend one month weeding, the next one planting, and so on and so forth. Since Todog was only revealed to me, I was the one who doled out punishments.
    One fine day some cops came and took me to a nearby asylum. In the asylum I was put in the ward for the most serious cases.
    A crowd was shouting outside the asylum. More than a thousand. Xuma is commanding the picket line. Slowly the police start to arrive. They want order. Todog isn’t about violence. The police start to let fly. Knocking people senseless left, right and centre. The Todog retaliate. The police fire tear gas at my people.
    Inside the asylum the lunatics are frightened. They put me in a skip and transfer me to a prison.
    You’re leading a band of lunatics.
    They’re not lunatics.
    They’re following a lunatic like you.
    Surely we’re not causing any harm.
    Xuma shows up, bloodied, and gives me a hug.
    Todog .
    What the hell is that? What’s Todog?
    Todog is all the forces in one.
    Spit it out.
    Todog is the language that all animals speak.
    You trying to say that dogs don’t bark?
    Dogs and all living beings have a transcendent home of their own.
    The officer called another cop and had him bring in the most ferocious dog in the regiment. The dog entered, barking and slobbering, a ball of rage beside me.
    Todog ministral calipsomburguer veneran do lupsier todog .
    The dog, who was about to bite me, started licking me, docility itself. I turned to the cops:
    This is Todog. The language all understand.
    Our man here is crazy. He’s screwing with us. The dog doesn’t understand that shit, no way.
    The cop pistol-whipped me and my eyebrow started to bleed. Xuma ran towards me. They clobbered him with the pistol too.
    We’re going to keep you here under arrest for now.
    And Xuma?
    The pair of you will be here for a while now.
    The officer took us to a storeroom and started laying into us. Beat us until we bled. Until our noses were bloody. I kept telling Xuma that Todog didn’t allow violence and we couldn’t react if we were truly men of faith. I asked why they were doing it and they said they didn’t know why they were beating us, but we knew why we were being beaten.
    Todog stuff.
    It was a way to ease our guilt and our pain.
    We were taken before the judge and sentenced to four years for sedition. The first thing I thought of was Todog. In those four years what would become of the hundreds of people who had believed in me?
    All dogs are blue? I swallowed a chip. I swallowed a cricket. What else is left to devour in this world?
    Carnival only wears the colours of short-lived happiness. Dealing with lunatics or with normal people: what’s the difference? What is reality? How many pieces of wood do you need to make that canoe? How many mortars do you need to sink that boat?
    At times like these I get to thinking about my mum and the orange cake she would make every Friday. Rimbaud and Baudelaire never visited me again. Either I’m cured or even crazier. I’m more locked away than ever. No one ever does the right thing, however much they try. How is it my fault that I’m locked up? Rimbaud: why don’t you come around to cheer me up? I’ve been abandoned. Baudelaire: you’re a bore, but you write well. Drop by, both of you. Come over. You guys cut me off without warning. Some rats scuttle between my cell and Xuma’s cell. Todog apartenum politicum est . The rats form a circle and dance the can-can.
    ‌ I saw an Umbanda 16 ritual that day. A decapitated chicken. A goat was sacrificed and I was soaked in blood. I was fifteen and I swallowed a cricket, then I saved the house from the termites. Four years in here.
    Fourth of November: the day