Free All Dogs are Blue by Rodrigo Souza Leao Page B

I was born. No cake and no party. Nothing.
    I got a tricycle, but the neighbour already had a bicycle. I want a bicycle, a bicycle without training wheels, so I can learn how to fall. Happiness.
    Hi, you’ve just received an important email: take Viagra.
    Every being – no matter how nasty – had a childhood, had an adolescence. How do these facts affect adult life? Could my childhood have determined who I’d turn out to be? I was a quiet boy. Had a far-away look. Sometimes I wonder, given how many problems I’ve got, whether my parents didn’t hide something from me. I didn’t fool around with guys. I wasn’t molested. I dated a pretty girl. I had everything I wanted. Why had fate done this to me? What was Hitler’s childhood like?
    Xuma looks at me and says something in Todog. For four years we only spoke in Todog.
    Four years passed quickly. We were put in with the most dangerous prisoners. But thankfully the days flew by. In the meantime, the Todogs on the outside multiplied. To the point where, thanks to the right of freedom to worship, Todog was accepted as a religion. Three days before I got out, people were already gathering at rallies to hear the few words I’d taught.
    We’re heroes, said Xuma.
    We are.
    Our people out there are organised; who do you think took our places?
    No one, Xuma.
    When we stepped out into freedom, a radio station immediately asked what message I’d like to give at that moment:
    Todog olambolic Todog .
    What does it mean?
    We don’t usually translate. Either the words enter you or they don’t. Xuma understands me, don’t you Xuma?
    Yes, Todog.
    Some familiar faces, armed with banners and posters, were outside waiting for us. The familiar faces greeted us, revered us, idolised us and showed themselves to be faithful to Todog. I was impressed when they said there were ten thousand people waiting in Getúlio, wanting to hear my prayers.
    Some familiar faces gave us white, tight-fitting clothes, just like everyone now wore.
    We reached the gates of the farm in Getúlio and there were a lot of people jostling around. Some familiar faces inside the car showed me that the tax payments were up to date and the farm was legal.
    Xamarei kodof pluicinai orlandopen rictimu asimbandueira pepinovic astrolov erguirochonte. Ritmos lacrimai rictyuliberius profteriobarto labaredasava perbuliam Todog .
    Todog.
    Todog morten Todog livus.
    Todog.
    Some even more familiar faces took us back. We drove through the crowd with the top down. They threw things at me. Underwear, bras, letters, posters, pieces of paper, confetti, streamers, guitars, bottles, plastic cups. I stood up and waved to the crowd. All of a sudden, a crazy Todog fundamentalist got up close to the car and shot me twice. They grabbed the man and he screamed, saying he was Todog.
    I struggled between life and death. I fought with the help of the doctors and drugs, but I didn’t make it. At my funeral, Xuma said that Todog died with me. Even so, many people still say they follow Todog.
    Princilimpimpotus todog todog todog and crickets and electrodes and a house in ruins and a blue dog and an orange cake and B Cops and Granny and I’m going to Paracambi if I don’t eat, I’ll go to Caju and Attorney General Brylcreem and Xuma and now the now. D-Day. The moment of truth. The bomb and its mushroom cloud of endorphins explode in my bayoneted body with the chemical of the angels. The warhead. And then, Rodrigo? What did you do with the after? Here where the clouds meet I always get a bigger shock than the ones I got in the asylum.
    Where I am now all the dogs aren’t blue. They gave me a third pair of glasses, third eye. Third ear. A third arm. Third leg. A third hand. All in threes. Then they gave me two more penises. Two more noses. Another foot. Two more stomachs. My third life.
    Three Hail Marys.
    I had to get used to my new life and what’s worse is I still haven’t turned into a monster because of it.
    I’m still the boy with the