Free First Contact - Intergalactic Stories by Bane Bond

First Contact
     
     
    Ivan, a
director of a department of average significance, in a moderate size company, doing business of
standard importance in the ordinary wealthy country in the World. A
man of middle age, average height and moderately good
looking…
    Ivan was
sitting in his office at mid-day when the air in front of his desk
started to vibrate and a creature appeared, about the height of an
average person. For a short while it was looking around with its
three eyes, distributed at 90 degrees angles around the lump on the
top of its body, remotely resembling a head. Waving tentacles; the
five of them, since it stood on three; the creature focused on Ivan
and started speaking with a clearly understandable voice in Ivan’s
mother tongue, “Greetings. Intergalactic Bureau of Statistics has
selected you as the representative being for the first contact with
your civilization…”
    Until that moment Ivan had
recovered from the initial shock and took action, as many times
before when his wife or daughters called him to kill some spider or
insect that scared them. He grabbed a spray can lying by his desk,
lifted from the chair and started spraying the creature. A
delightful flower scent spread around the office. Ivan looked at
the can, swearing in a low voice. The printout wrote ‘spring flower
meadow’. Ivan rolled his eyes in despair; his secretary was a
passionate environmentalist, so she continuously removed the
insecticide he kept at his feet and replaced with cans containing
various room deodorants.
    Ivan knew
that there was a spare insecticide can in the cabinet on the left
wall of the office. Strange creature stood in silence, still waving
tentacles, surrounded by the cloud of ‘… the finest scent selection
of spring mountain flowers from a meadow…’; which would either of
them understood had they read the printout on the label. Slowly
panicking, Ivan started looking around in search for something that
would allow him to safely pave the way towards the cabinet. The
creature continued talking, “I am a humble mediator of the first
contact, scheduled to enable a technology transfer and assistance
that developed civilisations of this part of the galaxy are willing
to provide…”
    A cloud of
hear spray, ‘… keeps stiff in certain style, while allowing natural
movement of every single hair…’, surrounded the creature,
interrupting its speech for the second time. Ivan had thrown aside
with gratitude almost empty container, forgotten by his secretary
by the window, which he used to destruct the creature and jumped to
the cabinet. With a swift move he opened the cabinet door, took out
the desired can ‘… against all flying, jumping, crawling, creeping
and other types of insects and vermin…’ and sprayed heavily the
creature. After a few seconds, when the cloud in his office
dispersed, Ivan was again alone in the room.
    Ivan straightened the medium
length necktie, brushed the average price suit and set back to the
standard size desk. His hands were still slightly shaking. While
waiting to calm down, he tried to remember; the creature that
appeared some moments ago tried to say something… Then he shook his
head. He was always told that his memory was quite moderate, so
that must have been the reason he could not remember anything in
particular. With relief Ivan took a peace of paper from the desk in
front of him and started comparing it with the spreadsheet on the
computer screen, checking the mean values in the calculation he was
supposed to complete.
     
    *****
The creature, whose name could approximately be translated as
D'ngfVak on some of the languages from Earth, appeared levitating
in one corner of the large room bursting with activity. Directly in
front of him a Controller was also levitating; resembling the cross
between a meteorological balloon, a centipede and a washing
machine. The Controller rose two of his 11 mobile eyes on
tentacles, using the remaining ones to monitor the sphere