Free Missing Rose (9781101603864) by Serdar Ozkan

“Look,” she said, pointing at the chocolate cookie left on her plate, “this cookie also shows that the future mesmerizes me. Ever since I was little I’ve always kept the food I liked best till last. But then, most of the time, when I come to eat it, I find I’m too full. That’s what’s happened today, too, I’m afraid.”
    â€œYou’re too full to eat it? So I guess your chocolate cookie is left in the past as ‘untouched’?”
    They both smiled, looking at each other until each felt the need to turn their gaze away.
    Diana glanced at her watch. “Oh, it’s getting late.”
    Mathias asked for the bill.
    â€œDiana, it’s up to you, but if there’s anything you’d like to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
    Diana’s eyes clouded over for a minute. Then, regaining her composure, she began to summarize what she’d been living through during the past few months.
    Mathias listened with full attention as Diana told her story. When she was finished, he didn’t know how to respond. All he could say was, “I’m so sorry.”
    â€œWhat upsets me the most is the idea that my mother doesn’t exist anymore,” Diana continued. “It’s even worse than being left without a mother. I wish she still existed somewhere even if I never saw her or heard her voice.”
    Mathias noticed the tears in her eyes.
    â€œDiana,” he said softly, “I can never realize your suffering. Nobody can. So whatever I say won’t mean much. I know it’s not the same, but after my grandmother passed away, I was quite upset. I just didn’t know how to accept it. But then I read a little story in a book. It really touched me.”
    Diana, remembering the stories her mother used to tell her, could hardly hold back her tears. “I’d like to hear it.”
    â€œWell,” Mathias said. “There was once a wave in the ocean, rolling along, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the swiftness of the breeze. It smiled at everything around it as it made its way toward the shore. But then, it suddenly noticed that the waves in front of it, one by one, were striking against the cliff face, being savagely broken to pieces. ‘Oh God!’ it cried. ‘My end will be just like theirs. Soon I, too, will crash and disappear!’ Just then another wave passing by saw the first wave’s panic and asked, ‘Why are you so anxious? Look how beautiful the weather is, see the sun, feel the breeze . . .’ The first wave replied, ‘Don’t you see? See how violently those waves before us strike against the cliff, look at the terrible way they disappear. We’ll soon become nothing—just like them.’ ‘Oh, but you don’t understand,’ the second wave said. ‘You’re not a wave. You’re a part of the ocean.’”
    The story and the compassion she’d seen in Mathias’s eyes as he’d told it gave Diana a glimmer of comfort. She suddenly felt like reaching out her hand to touch his where it rested on the table. But she stopped herself and gave an appreciative nod instead.
    The waiter appeared with the bill tucked inside an oyster shell. When Diana motioned to take it, Mathias said, “Please, I invited you.”

    A S D IANA ACCOMPANIED Mathias to the park, she suddenly remembered the words of the beggar. “That girl who’s just like you, she’ll meet that artist someday,” he’d said. For a moment, she thought of telling this to Mathias and warning him not to mistake Mary for her if their paths should ever cross. But she didn’t want to involve the beggar in this, so she decided against it.
    When they came to his easel, Diana held out her hand. “I had a lovely time this evening, Mathias. Or Jon. Thanks.”
    â€œNo, thank
you
.”
    For a second, Diana thought of asking him when he was leaving Rio. She would