Free Better Than Perfect by Melissa Kantor

waiting.” She gave me a hug. “You’ll give these guys your number, right? So we can hang out. And you should seriously think about joining the band. You have an awesome voice.”
    â€œSure,” I said, knowing it would never happen. I let Sinead hug me and then I returned Danny’s fist bump as they hustled off to meet their mother.
    My phone buzzed. It was Sofia. sorry i havnt txtd in so long. crazy here maybe not out until 12:30 u want keys 2 my house?
    I was so tired. All I wanted to do was close my eyes. But the idea of going back to Sofia’s and getting into the bed I’d slept in last night made my heart pound with terror. I couldn’t go back there by myself. I just couldn’t.
    â€œYou want to come swimming with us?” asked Declan.
    â€œUm . . .” I looked at my phone. It was just after eleven. “Where?”
    â€œRight here,” said Declan, gesturing toward the water with his chin. “In the sound.”
    â€œI don’t know,” I said. I remembered the egg’s sunburned head, how he was packed into his too-tight chinos. I pictured him having my car towed, though when I looked around, there were still a lot of cars parked in the lot.
    Sean made clucking noises, then added, “Chick-chick-chicken,” like maybe I hadn’t gotten the hint.
    â€œDon’t be such a wanker, okay, Sean?” I asked, the word coming to me out of the ether.
    â€œNicely done,” said Sean. He gave a loud burp. “You’re an honorary Clover now.”
    Sean, Declan, and I crossed the wide lawn behind the stage down to a narrow flight of wooden steps. In the distance, I could hear the sound of people talking and the tinny clink of silverware on plates, but we didn’t see anyone as we made our journey. At the bottom of the steps was a narrow beach, and I took off my shoes and socks and dug my toes into the cool sand. For some reason, Jason had never taken me here. When we came to the club, we always ended up at the pool.
    Sean instantly stripped to a pair of boxer shorts and dove into the water, yelping as he came up for air. “That’s fucking cold!” he cried.
    â€œShhhh,” I hissed. “We’re going to get caught.”
    â€œShhhh,” he mimicked, “we’re going to get caught.” Then he dove back down and emerged, blowing a fountain of waterout of his mouth. Finally he swam back to the shore and lay down. “Who wants to get me a beer?” he inquired.
    â€œDude, you’re wasted enough as it is,” said Declan, taking off his shoe and throwing it at Sean.
    â€œYa bastard,” said Sean. He grabbed the shoe and shoved it under his head. “Thanks for the pillow. Oh, I do love the great outdoors.” A second later he was snoring.
    Declan took off his other shoe and his socks, then rolled up his pants and walked to the edge of the sound. He picked up a rock and skipped it across the surface of the water. The moon was enormous, and it made the beach almost as bright as day.
    â€œThanks for helping us out,” he said. “With the sound check, I mean. And carrying all that stuff. You really do have a beautiful voice.”
    I sat on the sand and watched the ripples Declan’s rock had made slowly disappear. “Thanks,” I said.
    He threw another rock. “Have you ever sung before? I mean in a band or anything?”
    â€œNo.” I couldn’t see how I was going to make small talk for the next hour and a half while I waited for Sofia to get off work. The thought of continuing to chat gave me a tight feeling in my chest, like maybe now was the moment I’d just start screaming. “Let’s swim,” I said, getting to my feet. “I feel like swimming.” Without waiting for Declan to say anything, still in my shorts and tank top, I walked to the edge of the water and did a shallow dive into the sound.
    The water was cold, but I warmed up as I