Free Caught in the Cogs Volume One by O. M. Grey Page A

try to stick with lovingly expressing how you feel. Because you only know how you feel.
    This will be the first of many, many, many conversations. This isn’t a one time thing. This is opening up a new world and a new level of intimacy for you and your SO. There will be a lot of talking. Learn to communicate with each other. If sharing your fears worked, then do that every week. Plan a time to sit together, even something romantic like a bubble bath surrounded by candles, and just talk about very scary, very deep things. 
    If you found the courage to bring up your attraction this time and your spouse took it in stride, then tell them *how much more you love them because they allowed you to be you without judgment.* As you get closer, you can take the suggestion to the next level, experimenting. 
    As you go down this path, there is only more love waiting for you.
    I recently read a book titled: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. In it, she claims that most people only use a fraction of their capacity to give and receive love, and I tend to agree.
    I am an extremely emotionally intense person with a great capacity to give and receive love. I have such a capacity to love that I can fill my husband’s “love tank,”* then fill up an SO2’s “love tank,” and still have love left over for more. This is frightening to some people, but I have never understood being afraid of love. A dear friend recently gifted me a Star Sapphire Ring because of my special powers of love. :) Thanks, Dr. Q!
    Remember:
    Love breeds love. Desire breeds desire. <83
    You have everything to gain if you can find the courage to take the next step.
     
    -_Q
     
    *“Love Tank” is a term used in The 5 Languages of Love, highly recommended book to learn how to most effectively show love to your SO(s).
     
     
     
    Healing Your Relationship
     
    You may be thinking that your relationship with your spouse, significant other (SO), lover, potential lover, or special friend is too far gone. It’s not. The staying power of love is profound. If you love someone, then it’s never too late to express that. If you love someone, step up and do the scary thing. Face rejection. Face pain. Bare your soul and show them who you really are. A deep connection happens too rarely to bury it and deny it.
     
    First a few words of wisdom from Dr. Phil (I know. I know. But it’s relevant.)
     
    Dr. Phil: “There’s a 50/50 chance a marriage is going to work if both people are head over heels in love, passionate and willing to climb the mountain, swim the river and slay the dragon to get to each other. That’s with everybody crazy in love and running toward each other in that field that we see in the commercials. The problem you’ve got here is he’s running the other way in the field! So if it’s 50/50 when you’re running toward each other, what do you think it is when the other person is running out of the field and hiding in the woods?”
     
    First thing to ask yourself is whether you are running toward your SO and intimacy or whether you are running away and/or hiding in the woods. If it’s the former, is your SO also running towards you, or do you feel like they’re running away/hiding? If it’s the latter, then stop, turn around, and head back toward your SO. Or don’t. But it is up to you to heal your relationship. No one else can, especially if you have either been the one running away or *perceived* by your beloved as running away.
     
    As I mentioned in a previous post, you can use your fears to get closer to your SO. Everyone has fears, and the most basic fear for anyone in a loving relationship, whether that is a marriage or just a special friend with whom you feel that indescribable connection, is abandonment. We are all afraid of being left, the horrible feeling of being tossed to the side as if one never mattered. This is the fear that must be quelled again and again. In a broken relationship, the smallest thing can feel