Free Black Heart Blue by Louisa Reid Page A

would hold and I wouldn’t leave a mess anywhere. My thighs are chafed from walking home like this. I cry into my mattress somemore. Rebecca sits down on the side of my bed and pokes me in the shoulder. I shrug her off.
    ‘Here,’ she says.
    ‘Go away.’
    ‘I got you something.’ I turn and look. She’s holding a sanitary towel and two painkillers.
    ‘Where’d you get that?’
    ‘Her drawer. Right at the back. It was the only one, sorry.’
    I roll out of bed, grab the stuff and go to the bathroom to sort myself out. I splash my face with cold water and look in the small mirror. It’s so cracked and clouded that it’s hard to make myself out, but I can tell that I’m all blotchy and red-faced. Ugh. Sitting on the side of the bath I wonder what I’m going to do.
    When Monday comes I do my best to put on a good face. It’s been a miserable weekend but Rebecca did my homework last night so I could rinse my hair and clothes. I’m running short of things. I’ve worn everything I own twice already and soon Daisy will notice. I returned her stuff the other day and she just screwed up the top and jeans into a ball and stuffed them into her bag like it was nothing. Mrs Sparks sometimes brings us things and I hope she’ll be round soon. Or I could go and see her, just to give her memory a little prompt. I’ve been wondering if she’s guessed something’s up. I need more sanitary towels, so on the way to school I persuade Rebecca to distract the chemist with one of her manyailments while I nick some. I’m not a good thief; I get nervous, especially when I think of what would happen if I were spotted. But I can’t go back to using loo
roll, or even wearing old rags in my pants, washing them out and hanging them to dry in the bedroom. They never got clean, the stains stayed put, dark reminders of the pain. For once Rebecca does quite a good job on the chemist and I’m out of the door and hurrying further up the High Street without her. We’re going to be late for registration now but who cares? This time I don’t wait for my sister, I can’t let people see us together too much, and I hurry and sign in and go straight to the study centre; I have a free first thing, and want to check my messages. There are loads of Facebook posts and I scroll through them, reading what the rest of the college was up to while I was stuck in the vicarage with Rebecca and my parents. This weekend Rebecca and I did the usual chores and then did penance, kneeling on the cold stone church floor for six whole hours. That was our punishment for failing to answer his questions about his sermon to his
satisfaction. I wonder if I should post that as a status update.
    But my heart lifts when I see that Craig has finally accepted my friend request and that he’s sent me a private message. Blushing and grinning I click on it.
Where were you this weekend? You missed a good night. Party at mine this Saturday. Be there.
    I think I might be sick. This is the most exciting thing ever. I’m going to that party if it’s the last thing I do, which if my father finds out it probably will be. This has to be proof that Craig likes me as much as I like him. It has to be. Daisy appears at my shoulder and I can tell she’s straining to look at my screen. I quickly minimize it.
    ‘Hi!’ She sounds happy to see me and I smile back at her.
    ‘Did you have a good time at your gran’s, then?’
    I remember the lie quickly enough to answer without a pause, ‘Oh, yeah, it was OK.’
    ‘We had such a good night on Friday. You really missed out.’
    I shrug, what do I care?
    ‘Yeah, we all ended up back at Scott’s – his parents were out and it was a bit of a party. His older brother was there too with all his mates. Oh my God, this one guy, Billy, he was like, so fit …’
    I nod as she tells me her story, not really listening but thinking instead what I’m going to need to do to escape on Saturday. I gather that of course Daisy got off with one of