Free Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) by Cristina Grenier Page A

concerned, how could we ever get back what we first had, it was impossible, therefore John now needed to move onto his next relationship, enjoy the hunt, chase, sex and excitement and have complete disregard for who he hurt.  I was surplus to requirements.
     
    I would have been more than satisfied with reading him the riot act, I doubted he would be single for long but what was it he was looking for? Prolonged satisfaction was something he clearly didn't care for but he had to realize that at some point in his life there were no longer going to be queues of women at his door waiting for his attention, he would be leading an insular and sad life without the love of a woman only the lust of his libido, a lonely life to look forward to and one I didn't want him to live, unfortunately it wasn't my choice and I would have to walk away.  There was no point in fighting as I would only have made myself look a fool.  John was adamant and I was defeated, I walked away not knowing whether I was doing to the right thing, in fact, no, I didn't know I was doing the right thing for John but for myself, it was definitely the right thing.
     
    Having always corresponded with my grandparents via email, it was a shock to them the next morning when I telephoned them, I could hear my Grandmother in the background asking what was wrong, they weren't stupid and within the next 30 minutes I had arranged to go back home for a short holiday, both of them were concerned but so pleased that I'd chosen to go and spend some reprieve with them.  It was going to be strange, I hoped not too stifling but I thought the fresh air and open spaces would do me good. Not to mention re-visiting some fond memories which may put my life back in perspective. 
     
    My life back on the farm had been grounded, it taught me to think well whereas the city was a constant source of bewilderment, I was very strong in character but during the last weeks with John I'd begun to doubt myself and my judgments, perhaps it was time to go back to my roots and see where the tranquil environment took me.  John hated the country, he'd always said how nondescript it was and that it held no inspiration whatsoever for him, he was bored instead of influenced, I on the other hand couldn't wait to lose myself in its refuge.
     
    The night before I'd planned to leave I received a phone call, it was John.  I was slightly caught off balance that he'd contacted me in the first place but even more so when I heard that he knew I was leaving.
     
    “Are you sure this is what you want Eva?”
     
    I was baffled by his question, “It's for a holiday John, to collect my thoughts, gather inside what I'm going to do and which direction I should head for, nothing else.”
     
    There was a slight pause at the end of the phone, “I realize that but there may be distractions that manipulate your decisions?” 
     
    I realized immediately that by 'distractions' he meant Tommy.  “That's really none of your concern any more is it John and besides, I haven't thought about Tommy since I met you, what makes you think that us meeting up again is going to cause a stir now? But like I said, it's not your worry anymore.”
     
    Not only did I feel insulted by his comment but it was remarkable how someone who instrumented such a cold division in our marriage could all of a sudden come across as if he cared what I did with the rest of my life, it was after all finished between us, what was with the phone call in the first place, if he was sure that everything was done between us then he wouldn't need to bother himself with what happened next for me, only the next unsuspecting victim's life he was about to ruin?
     
    There was in fact, nothing left to say and I replaced the receiver.  Our relationship was over and so was the conversation.  John needed to understand that he was no longer my puppet-master, the strings had been cut and I was now a free person, I may have been going to the country to re-assess