Free Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) by Cristina Grenier

listened, advised and kept as impartial as was possible, there were times when he verbalized that he would quite like to kick him right in his ass, which I would have allowed but we both knew that it would be fruitless so we sat back and played the waiting game.
     
    Three days later I received an email.
     
    “Eva … I know this must be difficult for you, believe me I'm not enjoying any of this either.  I think we should talk, I know it has taken time and for the space you've given I'm thankful, I appreciate your patience but I'm ready to talk. John.”
     
    I wasn't particularly over-enthused by the lack of compassion in his writing but it gave me a little hope in the fact that if nothing else, I was about to find out what was going on in his head.  We arranged to meet in a cafe lounge on the corner from where we worked.
     
    Seeing John for the first time in two weeks gave me a slight surprise, he looked beaten.  Usually such a spark in his eyes and a swagger in his step, he walked through the cafe doors with very little presence at all, taking a seat in the booth opposite me, he ordered a coffee, asked if I wanted another one and removed his coat.
     
    I wasn't sure who should start the conversation and if it was to be me, what my first words would be.  I tried all the same.
     
    “How are you?”
     
    “I'm ok, bit tired, confused and fed up of my own company but overall, okay,” he smoothed down his coat, folded it neatly and placed it in the corner of the booth, “and you?”
     
    At least he'd asked which was a bonus, I assumed.  “I've been better John but I suppose once this conversation is over I'll know which direction I'm heading, which has been the hardest thing over the last two weeks.”
     
    “Yes, I know, I'm sorry … I've not been exactly fair on you,” the waitress brought over his coffee and left us to iron out of difficulties. 
     
    I half expected John to go silent and for it to become an unknown entity, however he continued and I listened.
     
    “I can't do this anymore.  I don't have any feelings for you.” he placed his hand on his heart and waved it away as if implying his feelings had flown away.  “It's just not the same any more, I know you probably think I'm being callous and my emotions have just switched off and you'd be right, I don't know what it is, they just aren't there any more … I'm sorry.”
     
    I was numb.  I suppose half of me expected his decision to be against my favor but I hadn't expected him to come out with that, I wanted answers.  “Did something happen for you to realize this?  We haven't had any kind of big bust-up, we actually get on well … what made your feelings change all of a sudden?  We loved each other so much at one time ...”
     
    “That's just it,” he said calmly, “I loved it when we were so in love but recently it's just become so … stale, we've fallen into a dull routine and I can't see you the way I used to see you, there's no flutter of excitement any more, no rush of passion, I don't desire you.”
     
    Sighing deeply I was exasperated by what I'd just heard, “John, a relationship never continues with the first throes of passion, there's always a honeymoon period but when that passes there comes a growth of togetherness that outweighs the lust and desire to jump on each other all the time, it develops into a comfortable partnership with trust, respect and love.”
     
    I watched as John stared wistfully into his coffee cup, “Exactly Eva, I don't really want that, I like the passion and excitement, all the other stuff bores me, I haven't got time for it, I'm a busy man and I don't need to extra hassle of having to invest more of me into what comes natural in the first stages of being together, call me a fantasist if you like ...”
     
    I certainly had one word for him beginning with F but that, for the moment had to be put to one side.  John was quite conclusive in his explanation, that was it as far as he was