Free The Feria by Julia Bade Page A

playing, eating, sitting, sunning. How could they? Didn’t they know her life was about to end? She envied their carelessness.
    Suki’s death had only delayed the inevitable. If her father gave a command, she would have to follow it. That’s the way it always was. If he gave the command to go and drown herself in the Rio Grande, then that’s the way it would be. She longed for that command.
    Messages she’d sent to Xavier came back unanswered. How could he have left her with no word of his departure or clue of his arrival?
    She sobbed just as much over that betrayal. But it wasn’t a betrayal. She only made herself believe it was to try and make her fast-approaching death tolerable.
    Night after night, she would lay in her bed and pray. She would look out her window, desperately trying to conjure up memories she’d shared with Xavier, but the stars would not shine as brightly for just her alone. They needed Xavier by her side to show off their brilliance.
    Her father kept her in the dark about her nuptials. He was planning her death so perfectly that she would not even know she was getting married until she was standing before the priest. This, her father knew, would not give her the chance to run away, or run anywhere, for that matter.
    Then one morning, God gave her the break she needed.
    She stood in a corner at the grocer’s hiding from the voices. She recognized the voice she despised so badly and froze in fear before making herself move away. Emmanuel. He was speaking to the grocer.
    “What’s the special occasion?” the grocer asked, handing Emmanuel a brown bag.
    “I’m getting married tomorrow, kind sir!”
    “Oh Señor , I didn’t even know you were engaged!” The grocer clapped his hands.
    “Yes, yes, I am. It wasn’t a long engagement.”
    Soledad felt the urge to vomit. She held her hands firmly over her mouth. She wasn’t sure if she would throw up, or scream. She squeezed back hot, violent tears. She couldn’t allow her sobs to reveal her hiding place.
    “Congratulations, sir. This is on me.”
    Soledad could not see what the grocer held up. He was a kind man. She had known him since she was a child. Now, he was just another peddler of her doom.
    She waited for the bell on the door indicating that Emmanuel was gone. She composed herself, swiped her damp cheeks, then grabbed her mother’s milk and went to the counter.
    “ Hola, mija !” He sounded so pleased to see her. The soft kind eyes she had known all her life were now foreign as Señor Talaman studied her frantic eyes . “ Estas bien?” He tilted his head, his wise brown eyes scanning her face.
    “ Si, Señor, gracias . I’m a little sick today.” She knew her eyes were betraying her with their red sting and pale face.
    “Feel better, mija . You really look sick. You should be home in bed, no?”
    “Believe it or not, my mother is far worse than me, so I came to run her errand.” She felt so bad lying by inflicting illness on her mother.
    Something suddenly came over her. An idea. A small wisp of hope. She knew what she must do. “Actually, sir. I feel terrible right now, and I really can’t take this milk with me now. I’ll return later.”
    “Okay, mija .” The grocer stared at the milk, probably unsure about touching it.
    Without a goodbye, she sprinted out of his store, then headed in the opposite direction of her house. She was fleeing to the border. Xavier would have to be back by now. He told her their longest runs lasted two weeks at most. She didn’t look behind her, she just ran, and with no trouble at all, she was allowed entrance into her beautiful Mexico.
    The familiar trailer Xavier called home sat on the same lot where he’d first introduced her to it. Apparently, this was its settling ground. She didn’t know what to expect, but she pounded on the door with so much force that it opened. She jumped back, ashamed to have been so rudely persistent.
    Footsteps approached. A man, an older man with salt and