Free The Feria by Julia Bade Page B

pepper hair stared down at her with the same intense blue eyes as his son.
    “Xavier!” He called over his shoulder, then he smiled at her. “Come in.” He stepped back, then gestured her forward. A dart of fear crept up her spine. Was she doing the right thing? What if Xavier didn’t want to see her? The fear of the unknown began to suffocate her. She hadn’t seen him in so long, with no word from him since their abrupt goodbye. She nodded at Xavier’s father and began to back away. As much as she longed to stay, she would force herself to run, certain her precious Xavier would not want anything to do with her. How dare she come here so confidently. How dare she assume she had so much control and certainty over Xavier’s feelings. Xavier’s father, perhaps noticing her struggle, shrugged his shoulders and disappeared back into the house.
    After more internal debate, Soledad convinced herself to wait on the porch. Things could not get any worse than they already were. If Xavier turned her away, at least she could have closure. But at this point, all she really knew was that her love was inside that trailer, and it took great effort not to charge in there. Sound came from the screen door and her breath caught up in her throat. She remained very still, uncertain as Xavier came to the door looking groggy, uncertain. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, only a pair of cut-off shorts. One look at her and he broke out in a smile that filled his entire face.
    “Cholita!” He burst through the rickety screen door as it struggled to stay intact. “I can’t believe I’m looking at you!” He pulled her into the trailer and he kissed her all over her mouth, forehead, cheeks, jaw, neck, nose, head, eyes, mouth, mouth, mouth. He inched her toward his bedroom, a compact area sectioned off by the curtain hung by a rope, the one she remembered from the first time she visited. The foldable cot against the trailer wall didn’t even look like it could hold him. His clothes cluttered the floor. Those familiar chapped leather boots lay disheveled in a corner, one up, one down.
    “We just got in only a few hours ago,” he said, waving a hand at the mess on his floor. He looked at her again, the smile still lingering, his eyes taking her in, seeking answers. “I could have only dreamed that you would be here with me in this moment.”
    As hard as she tried, Soledad could not speak. Xavier still wanted her. He still loved her. She was getting married tomorrow. She was standing here with the man who would forever be the keeper of her heart. And while she tried to wrap her head around all of this, while she tried desperately to conjure up any words worthy of responding to all of this, instead, she buried her face in his chest and cried.
    She was grateful when Xavier did not demand an explanation. He stroked her hair, whispering words of comfort. Minutes passed, but she couldn’t seem to stop crying. Xavier held her patiently, and waited, his only movements breathing and shifting his weight every now and then.
    “ Todo bien ?” His father’s voice carried concern.
    Instantly, Soledad stopped her cries. She had forgotten how close the quarters were and she was suddenly embarrassed. What must this man think of her? Her display on the porch, her blatant unconcealed cries behind the curtain. How terrible that she would leave this last impression on him.
    “Yes. ” Xavier turned to the direction of his father’s voice and shouted back.
    She could have cried the afternoon away, and while she felt robbed of a good cry, she was grateful for the abrupt interruption. There was so much to say, yet everything she needed to urgently say seemed scattered, out of order, yet pressing their way out of her mouth.
    “My love, Suki has died.” Her voice quavered as she struggled with saying these words out loud for the first time, and she began to sob again.
    “I’m so sorry, my Cholita,” Xavier’s gentle voice whispered in her ear. He squeezed her