Free How to Get Ahead in Television by Sophie Cousens Page A

word he was saying. The commissioner, Shannon and JR eventually agreed on a compromise, and the next round was delayed until all the signs could be changed from ‘The Jock Jockey Game’ to ‘Riding Highlands Style’ (deemed by the commissioner to be less controversial).
    I hovered at the back of the gallery, watching this drama unfold. JR was phenomenal in the way he took control of the situation. The commissioner was about to call his boss at ITV for a second opinion on the racist question, when JR said, ‘We don’t have time for more opinions; we’ve got a show to make.’ I watched it all, quietly in awe.
    When the show finally wrapped and the clans had been sent home, the production team and crew all congregated for a drink in the makeshift green room set up in one of the tents on site. I found myself chatting to Alan the AP.
    â€˜I didn’t think the shorts looked that bad, did you?’ he asked me.
    â€˜No, I thought it was the best you could do, in the circumstances,’ I tried to reassure him.
    â€˜I mean “special needs golfers” was a bit harsh, wasn’t it?’ Alan looked crestfallen.
    I could see Rhidian at the other side of the green room, surrounded by a gaggle of girls, and caught his eye. He smiled at me, then excused himself from the group and started walking towards Alan and me.
    â€˜So are you ready yet?’ Rhidian asked me.
    â€˜For what?’ I asked.
    â€˜For me to take the piss out of you for nearly killing Valerie Decouz.’
    â€˜You’d have done the production a favour if you had,’ Alan said bleakly.
    â€˜I did not “nearly kill her”,’ I protested. ‘I just braked sharply.’
    â€˜Oh! Is that what the email from Jack Chamberlain was about?’ Alan asked gleefully, glad he was not the only one to have screwed up today.
    â€˜Thanks, Rhidian! Tell everyone, why don’t you?’
    â€˜Sorry.’
    There was an awkward pause, so I decided to change the subject.
    â€˜Did you guys hear JR in the gallery?’
    â€˜Yes,’ said Alan, ‘what a prick.’
    â€˜Really? I thought he was amazing,’ I said. ‘He really told that commissioner what’s what.’
    â€˜I don’t know, Poppy, I think he took over Shannon’s show rather,’ said Rhidian.
    â€˜Yeah, you don’t do that,’ said Alan. ‘He totally undermined her as a producer.’
    â€˜No, honestly, you should have been there, he was just so brilliant with the commissioner,’ I said. ‘He was all, “I’m telling you it’s not racist and that’s the end of it”.’
    â€˜Who are you, founder of the James Ravenstone fan club or something?’ chuckled Rhidian.
    â€˜No, it was just really impressive to see him work. From where I was standing, he was awesome.’
    â€˜Awesome’s a bit much,’ Rhidian laughed.
    â€˜Well, that’s my opinion,’ I said defensively. ‘All the make-up girls think you’re “yummy enough to eat”, and that’s their opinion. We’re all entitled to our opinions, aren’t we?’
    There was another awkward silence. Alan and Rhidian took long sips of their drinks. I hadn’t meant to sound so spiky, but I was embarrassed that they thought I was gushing about JR, as though I had some sort of schoolgirl crush on him when, really, I was just impressed with his skills as a producer.
    â€˜Of course you’re entitled to your opinions, Poppy.’ Rhidian gave a wounded little smile, and excused himself to go and help behind the bar.
    I now felt a bit bad saying that thing about the make-up girls.
    â€˜So did JR mention anything to you about the tartan shorts?’ Alan asked.

STEP 15 – NEVER WORK WITH ANIMALS OR CHILDREN
    T HE NEXT DAY , Rhidian had gone, driving south in the Mercedes with the very-minor-hardly-noticeable-at-all scratch on the right wing mirror. I