Free Ryan's Love by Charlie Dillard Page B

know
that I will never put myself in the position to feel how you made
me feel earlier today. Never, ” she said
matter-of-factly.
    I should had expected her to say
that. If it was me I probably would have said that and so much
more.
    “ Will
you please just listen to me. I love you. I want to be in your
life, ” I
say.
    She
slowly turns to me oddly calm and says, “ Ok I ’ ll give you one
chance. Tell me what you and your Mom were arguing
about. ”
    She
looks at me with a smug look on her face, like she won. Like she
knew that I wasn ’ t going to tell her.
I didn ’ t want to. But I knew I had to tell her if I ever want
to have a lasting relationship with her. That is if she ever would
forgive me for what I was about to tell her.
    I
swallow deep and began with the crushing story, “ Well after we um had our
argument earlier, I left the office to have a drink at a bar; and
after many many drinks the bartender called the first person that
came up in my contacts. She helped me home and into the bed. Well
she um she when I woke up she was on top of me. ”
    She
kind of cringed at that. Then asked me, “ How, why? How could you
do that when you say you love me? I mean I know we had an argument
and all, but that was less than a few hours
later. ”
    All of
the sudden a look of horror crossed her face, and she looked
straight at me and asked, “ And who was the
person. ”
    But from the look on her face I
think she already knew.
    “ Rachel, ” I said. Those words stung as they came
out.
    “ How
could you do that? You said you were done with her. When I saw her
I had a feeling that you would go back to her one day.
She ’ s absolutely beautiful. So much prettier than me. Wait
how is it Rachel? Her name starts with R, ” she says looking at me
incredulously.
    “ Well
I guess I forgot to erase it from when her and I were together; and
well her number was under the heading #1, ” I say then sit back
waiting for her to flip out.
    But
she didn ’ t. She had a soul crushed look on her face, and
quietly turned back around and cried into the couch. When I say she
cried, I mean she cried. She cried so hard that she started heaving
through the sobs.
    “ Mrs.
Callahan, Mrs. Callahan, please I need you, ” Sunshine cried out to
my mom.
    It
hurt that she didn ’ t feel like she could
ask me for help when I was sitting right here next to her. I know I
hurt her deep; and from the looks of things I
don ’ t think that she will ever forgive
me.
    My mom came running into the room.
She looked at me with an accusatory look then down at Sunshine
laying on the couch.
    “ Honey what ’ s
wrong, ” my mom says sitting down on the edge of the couch beside
Sunshine.
    “ I
think I ’ m about to be sick again, ” she says still
crying.
    My mom hushes her.
    “ Sunshine Darling, you have to calm down. You
haven ’ t eaten anything for some time now. If you
don ’ t calm down you are going to throw up again. Since you
haven ’ t eaten anything its going to hurt a lot worse.
I ’ ll be forced to take you to the hospital for them to
take a look at you, if you keep getting sick like
this. ”
    She
looked at my mom, then she nodded her head yes, and
whispered, “ Ok,
I ’ ll try. ”
    She
made room for my mother, who sat on the couch and cradled and
rocked her as she tried calming down. My mother began to hum this
song she used to sing to us when we were younger.
Sunshine ’ s eyes began to droop, and soon after she was
fast asleep. I had a new found love for my mother and for Sunshine.
I am so blessed to have a loving and caring mother like I do.
It ’ s so amazing how she takes care of everyone. She has
such a gentle soul. Sunshine reminds me so much of her, in that
way. I hate that she is hurting because of me.
    “ Mom,
how can I fix this, ” I ask, not knowing what to do to make things
right.
    She gently lays Sunshine down on the
couch and turns to face me.
    “ Honey, all I can say is be there for her whenever she