Free Paradisal Tragedy by Ada Marie Page A

you. God knows I’ve tried. I love you and I think you owe me another shot at what we have. You left without so much as a goodbye. We can be something truly amazing, if you’d just try,” Matt scolded her, pleading with his green eyes.
    “I can’t Matt, what we had was a long time ago, and it’s time that you moved on.”
    “I don’t care how long it takes; I’ll never give up on us. You and I will find our way back to each other. Maybe not today, and maybe not even tomorrow, but I have hope for someday.”
    “Matt, no. Don’t wait for me. I’m not going to change my mind, and I can’t take it if I hurt you any more than I already have,” Annabella told him truthfully. It was sad, but she couldn’t lie to him about it.
    “I don’t care, I know the girl I fell in love with is somewhere deep inside of there, and I’m going to find her.” Matt spoke with a confident that gave Annabella chills.
    She didn’t want that. She didn’t want him to try to save her. The fact was that she couldn’t be saved. Not anymore, everything was already done and there was no point in trying.
    Yet here Matt was vowing to never give up on her. There was no hope for her and Matt, no hope at all, but he wouldn’t let go. Why wouldn’t he just let her go? Why couldn’t he just forget about her and find someone else who would treat him the way he deserved?
    “You have to let me go, maybe in another life the two of us could have something great, but not this life. Matt, I’m not good for you.”
    “Annabella, why are you trying so hard to push me out of your life?” Matt asked, his tone hurt but curious.
    “Because it’s the way it has to be. We can be friends, but that’s all we can ever be,” Annabella told him, and before he could say more she was climbing the stairs to her room.

    ***
    Dear Diary,
    Matt won’t let me go, and I don’t know how to convince him that it’s over. He keeps telling me that he’s going to fight for me; why won’t he let me go? I can’t be the girl I used to be, I won’t ever be her again. Why can’t they all just let me go? I hate who I’ve become. I hate her so much, but I hate him more, for making me this monster I’ve become. I don’t deserve Matt. I let all of this happen, everything. The reason that incident in the locker room even happened was because of me, so I got what I deserved. I don’t deserve any bit of happiness anymore.
    But Travis…
    He makes me feel happy. Not completely. Just flashes. He doesn’t tell me that I need to be someone, or that he wants to save me, he just says he wants to know me and that scares the hell out of me. What if he turns out to be just like him ? Or what if he finds out about my past? I’ve tried so hard to keep it hidden and buried, but secrets have a way of coming out, and what if this is one of those secrets? I haven’t known him for long, but I like my friendship with Travis. For months I’ve felt so alone, and he makes me feel like I’m not. I don’t want to lose him. It sounds strange, but I become someone else when I’m with him.
    Aubrey and the girls make me feel so small. They look at me with their judgmental eyes and their fake smiles, and I know it will never be the same. They’ve been here for two days and I just can’t seem to be around them. It just reminds me of what happened. They remind me of him . I can’t be in the same room with them and I can’t contain the emotions that run through me when I am.
    Aubrey and I are supposed to be best friends, but she won’t accept the fact that who I was before, well , she’s gone. I will never be that girl. I would give anything to be the girl I was before . I’d give anything to be happy again, but I need to face the reality of everything. And the reality is I’m stuck in this hell forever.

    ***

    That night was a sleepless one for Annabella. She wished her parents never left. She wasn’t happy before her friends got here, but she was dealing. Not well, but in her