Free Count It All Joy by Ashea S. Goldson

sunlight streaming through the blinds woke me up. I jumped out of bed before Joshua, took my shower, and then slipped back into bed with him. Normally, Joshua would have been up praying at 5:00 A.M. , followed by his Bible reading and meditation. When I touched his shoulder, he just groaned and turned the other way.
    I could tell Joshua was especially depressed because of what happened with his parents last night. It was all so emotionally draining, his father’s illness and his mother’s aggression. I suggested that he take a day off from work, but he dismissed that idea quickly enough. Joshua never liked to take days off from work unless it was absolutely necessary. I guess he could be classified as a workaholic since that was pretty much all he ever did. In fact, the only real recreation Joshua participated in on any kind of regular basis was watching basketball games.
    Yes, he loved to follow LeBron James’s career during basketball season. And he even enjoyed shooting a few hoops every now and then, but this was rare.
    Finally, Joshua climbed out of bed as if on his last bit of strength. He showered, dressed himself in one of his many pin-striped suits, and was ready to go off to work. He didn’t even want his usual bagel and tea for breakfast.
    â€œEverything will be all right,” I said, walking him to the door. But I could tell he had so much on his mind.
    Lilah was still asleep since we were both officially on Christmas vacation.
    â€œI’ll call you later.” He gave me a dry kiss and walked across the hall, disappearing into the elevator.
    I went to check on Lilah, saw that she was sleeping soundly, and then sat down at Joshua’s desk. I wanted to open and read some of the Christmas cards we had received from the church. I opened one and it was a beautiful nativity scene from Sister Marguerite. Then I started to open another when a stapled group of bills caught my eye. There were old credit card statements dating back from three years ago. They were different cards with different large balances; five thousand, seven thousand, ten thousand.
    â€œWow,” I said to myself. There were purchases from Macys, Lord & Taylor, Neiman Marcus, Victoria’s Secret, Gucci, and Tiffany’s. I knew these had to be Delilah’s purchases.
    It must be nice to have such expensive taste, I thought to myself. No wonder my husband was stressed out about money and could barely afford the life we wanted together. His first wife had buried him in debt. There was hardly anything left for me.
    I looked at the thin tennis bracelet on my arm that he had given me for Christmas, and suddenly I was upset, envious, I guess. Did I have to walk in a dead woman’s shadow? Couldn’t I have some nice things for myself too? Why did I have to be the wife to make all the sacrifices?
    Be not envious of sinners. The Holy Spirit calmed me down quickly, and I walked away from the desk, grateful for what I did have, and mostly grateful for my husband.
    He had been through so much already with Delilah that I was determined to make him forget about her. I was determined to be a better wife to him than she had been.
    Later on in the day, Lilah and I headed out on an adventure of our own.
    â€œHow would you like to go ice skating?” I asked her.
    â€œYay!” Lilah started jumping up and down.
    â€œAll right, then, let’s go,” I said.
    First, I whipped up a batch of strawberry pancakes and bacon for Lilah and me, which I knew I would regret whenever I visited the gym again. Then I picked out a cute little jeans outfit for Lilah and one for myself. Mine was a little rough getting over the hips, but I’d have to work that out with myself later. In any case, we were matching in pink denim and ready for action. I took her hand, and we walked through our eclectic Brooklyn neighborhood to the nearest train station one block away.
    I could see the excitement in Lilah’s eyes as we boarded