Free Incendiary by Chris Cleave Page A

Your husband and your son are dead.
    —No. No I’m sorry but you’ve made a mistake. They’re just missing. If they were dead they would of told me so straight away.
    The woman took a deep breath and spoke very softly.
    —The identification process took a long time, she said. Because their bodies were so badly degraded.
    —Degraded?
    —Burned, she said. In the end we were able to establish their identities only by recourse to their dental records.
    I lay there propped up in bed. I was looking at the green modesty curtain that hung all around us. It was nice in there. It was like being in our tent the one and only time my mum took me camping. The woman in the tweed suit squeezed my shoulder. I smiled at her.
    —Dental records eh? That’s funny. My boy used to love going to the dentist. He got all excited about the special chair. The dentist used to give him toothpaste to take home. You want to take care of your teeth the dentist said. You might need them one day.
    I looked at the woman.
    —And he was right wasn’t he? The dentist I mean.
    The woman looked at me.
    —You’re in shock, she said. It’s going to take a while to sink in. What I’m going to do is I’m going to fetch a chair and bring it next to your bed. I’ll sit right here with you and be with you and we’ll talk it over.
    —Alright. He always had such lovely teeth. My boy.
    Then the woman reached up and pulled back the modesty curtain and there was Prince William stepping into the ward with the photographer walking backwards in front of him. There were a dozen people in suits walking all around him.
    —Oh, said the woman in tweed.
    She took a step back. I watched Prince William looking up and down the ward. So tall and handsome. We always liked the royals in my family Osama I don’t care what people say about them. I wasn’t thinking about anything much except maybe oh look there’s Prince William. I grinned at him and he walked over to my bed. He stood over me. Doesn’t he have his mother’s eyes? I thought. He looked bigger than he seemed on telly but then we always did have quite a small telly.
    —Hello there, he said.
    He was smiling. He was RELAXED BUT SINCERE . Well that’s what it said in the
Sun
the next day. In the caption underneath the photo the photographer was taking from the end of my bed.
    —How are you feeling? said Prince William.
    I looked up at him. Prince William had nice teeth very bright and even. I was remembering how I used to sit our boy on the edge of the basin to clean his teeth. They’re only your milk teeth darling I always used to say. But we’ve got to get into the habit of brushing. Then when you’re my age you’ll have teeth like Mummy’s. Zero cavities. Well we did get into the habit of brushing. It was fun. I never did imagine that teeth was all that would be left of him. I mean you don’t imagine such things do you? I looked up at Prince William. I knew it was my turn to speak but I couldn’t. I felt a huge misery welling up inside me. It was physical. Prince William frowned. Relaxed but sincere.
    —How are you feeling? he asked again.
    I leaned my head out of the bed and puked all over his shoes.
    I puked again after Prince William had jumped back. It was like my whole life was coming out of my mouth and spattering on the green lino floor. When it was finished I felt so empty. Prince William stared at me while one of his men wiped my puke off his shoes. He had this strange expression on. It wasn’t cross. It was far away and sad. You could see him thinking to himself well I suppose I am the prince of all this then. I am the prince of this poor blown-up kingdom and one day all these blown-up people will be my subjects and I’ll be able to do nothing for them. I’ll live in palaces pinning medals onto lawyers and architects while these people watch their tired faces get older each morning in dirty bathroom mirrors. It was that sort of an expression.
    I stared back at Prince William. I felt so