Free Heartless (Keeping Secrets) by J. Roman

hadn’t come home the night before. Big surprise.
    I’d had to sleep beside that monster and try to remind myself how stabbing him multiple times would only get me arrested or thrown into foster care. Either option seemed like hell to me. I’d even called in sick the rest of the week at work because I couldn’t even handle the idea of being there. I was probably going to get fired. I didn’t give a shit.
    “What happened?” Kevin demanded. I shook my head and burrowed deeper in my hoodie.
    “Leave me alone,” I said. I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to think. Nothing could get worse. Then it did.
    “Jason?” Cade asked, walking up to us. I raised my eyes to look at him. His mug was fucked-up from where Tommy had punched him multiple times, but it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be. It certainly wasn’t as bad as the bruises I was carrying. I was careful to keep my wrists covered by my jacket. I would be sporting it the rest of the day. Jonathan hadn’t left any that couldn’t be covered by clothes, but he’d left more than a few. My wrists were ugly blue and green, courtesy of Cade.
    “What do you want?” I asked in a bored voice.
    “I wanted to say I was sorry about yesterday. God, I really have no idea what got into me. I’m really, really sorry.” Cade seemed contrite enough, but I was feeling like a prick.
    “Yeah. Okay.” I rolled my eyes and hopped off the stone wall. I winced as I stepped wrong and pain shot up my right thigh.
    “I mean it. I know you probably won’t talk to me anymore, but I had to say that,” Cade pressed, following me as I walked. I scooped up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. I wasn’t in the mood for school. Maybe I’d go hang out in the park or something. I took off toward the parking lot. It was still before first bell. If I hurried, I could make it off campus before they started checking passes. I completely missed the fact that Kevin had been walking with us and was listening closely to our conversation.
    “What the fuck did you do to Jason, Cade?” Kevin demanded. He was going to get pissed quick. He usually did when it came to stuff about me. I was his little brother. He was my knight. But where was my hero?
    I couldn’t even contemplate seeing Tommy today. I was going to break it off with him. I had to. I was unclean, dirty in a way that would sully everything between us. It didn’t matter that I wanted to turn over a new leaf. That just wasn’t me. I was heartless, and I would forever be heartless.
    “Cade? You better fucking tell me!” Kevin was all but shouting now, drawing the attention of several of the early students as they milled around before first bell. I stopped suddenly, and they nearly stumbled into me. There he was.
    Tommy and Danny were headed right toward me, and I was like a deer caught in headlights. Danny waved, and I managed to raise my hand in greeting. Kevin fell silent and glared at the cringing Cade beside me. Tommy glared at Cade too.
    “You need to get the hell away from him, now ,” Tommy snapped. Cade did as commanded and took off like a pistol shot. Funny. How come I hadn’t thought of that? Tommy leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek, garnering us several more looks from passersby. The rumor mill would be churning by the end of first period. The Erwin High man-whore was off the market.
    “Hey, baby,” Tommy greeted me, putting an arm around my shoulders. He squeezed and I couldn’t help but yelp. He turned a concerned gaze on me. I felt like throwing up.
    I ignored the puzzled looks I was getting and addressed Kevin. “Me and Tommy boy decided to make a go of it,” I said, shrugging off the arm and lacing our fingers instead. Holding hands didn’t hurt.
    Kevin nodded. “Good for you.” He was staring right through me, and I knew if I didn’t get out of here, I was going to be confessing before lunchtime.
    “Congratulations,” Danny said. He didn’t seem too bummed about me