Free Kellie's Diary: Decay of Innocence by Thomas Jenner, Angeline Perkins Page B

she was talking with Dan and Michael, and they were getting mad at her for giving me a gun.  She told them that it was so I could protect myself, and that I needed to learn how to use one.  They said there was no point, since I missed the zombie I was trying to shoot.  She said she got mad at them for saying that, that I at least tried, and that I stopped Tommy from getting eaten alive, but then they said if I shot the zombie, he’d still be okay.  I think they’re right - if it wasn’t for me, Tommy wouldn’t be dying right now.
                  I told her that I got nervous trying to shoot the gun.  She said she understood, that most people get nervous around guns.  But she also said that I needed to have more practice with a real gun, and I need to be comfortable shooting at my target.  I know that I wasn’t that far away from the zombie, and if I just shot it the first time, Tommy wouldn’t have been bit.
                  But if they weren’t playing that dumb game in the first place, none of this would have happened!  How did they not think that something like that would happen??  I told them a long time ago that going outside the wall was a bad idea.  I told them about all the things I saw when I was out there, but it’s like they didn’t believe me.  Then they told me that they would get me in trouble if I told about the hole in the wall.
                  I should have just told on them anyway.  I’d probably be in a lot less trouble than I am now.  Sarah’s in trouble because of me, and I feel even worse because of what happened to Tommy.  Even though I didn’t really like the boys, he was at least the nicest of them.  Nobody should get bitten by zombies.  Okay yeah, we’ve lost a few people before, but it never gets easier to think about.
     
                  Okay, I just got back from talking to Sarah again.  She had a talk with me and Jack, and she says she’s going to make sure that I keep the gun.  She doesn’t want me to tell anyone that I have it, but she’s going to keep practicing with me so I get even better.  Jack is going to help too.  You know, I just noticed that he almost always does what she says, and he smiles at her a lot.  Maybe he likes her, I don’t know.
                  Sarah told me that Tommy wanted to see me.  I asked if I was even allowed to, and she said that it was okay.  They want to be as nice as they can to him, since he’s pretty much going to die now.  I’m going to go see what he wants to talk about, so I’ll be back in a little while.
     
                  I’m really sad now.  Tommy looks so sick.  I know the bite is making him turn... and there’s nothing we can do about it.
                  I walked in Rita’s room, and I saw him lying there.  His eyes were getting dark, his skin looked kind of red in some parts, like he had a rash.  He looked really bad.  He had a wrapped bandage around his arm, and it looked like it was still bleeding a little.  I felt my eyes water but I stopped myself from crying.  He probably doesn’t want to see that.
                  Rita told him I was here, and he smiled a little.  I guess that’s good, maybe.  I saw a chair next to where he was lying down, but I stood up anyway.  He told me I could sit if I wanted to, so after a bit I finally did.  I didn’t say anything to him, and I had a hard time looking at him.  It wasn’t because he looked sick, because I’ve seen worse things, but I just felt so bad about what happened.  He’s lying there because of me.
                  I asked how he was feeling, and he said he felt sick in his stomach, he had a bad headache, and that all his bones felt sore.  He felt really tired, and had a hard time thinking.
                  I started telling him how sorry I was that I didn’t shoot good enough to kill the zombie, and that it was my