Free Vagina Insanity by Niranjan Jha Page A

that there are
no obvious errors. As she knew I might decline to marry, she played
her last trick!
     
    The way she started confusing me was quite new in
itself. From time to time, she started showing me some emails sent
to her by the cousin who was staying in America. In the email it
was mentioned that he was finding a job for her there. I could
never understand that she herself used to send those emails to her
account just to make a show off. She thought, by doing that, her
status would be uplifted in my eyes. Considering those emails
genuine, I thought if she got settled there which I couldn’t do,
that would be good for our future. Though I had been cheated many a
times and I had learnt a lot from past, yet the new tricks
appearing with new faces were difficult to understand. I believed
whatever she said and I got myself sure that if I marry her, things
would get better in our life and we would be able to support each
other.
     
    I couldn’t look at the reality which was engraved
under the feet of my expectation ready to ruin my life again. I
could not perceive that all the information about her education and
family was totally wrong.
     
    Till now, she was still showing her emails to me and
I was planning to secure future with her. The time was passing, the
competition was increasing in market, and the institute started
going through a lot of commercial fluctuations. In the year 2002, I
could never see a good income coming out of the business because of
the competition. Every month a new computer center was opening in
the locality. Finally, I decided to close the institute and get
settled with her in Kerala.
     
    “It is not that I am so smart; it is just that I stay
with problems longer.” –Einstein
     
     

Chapter Eighteen
    “It is better to light a candle than to curse the
darkness.” –Columbus
     
    Character without courage is ineffective, and courage
without character is oppression. We have to prove it not just with
words but deeds. Sometimes, we hope for the best but we have to
prepare for the worst. You know you might stumble, but what would
you do when you have no other way to go?
     
    When all else is lost, the future still remains…
     
    Carrying more than thirty thousand rupees, and with
bag and baggage, we reached Kerala. A room was booked in a nearby
lodge for me until we get married. The first thing she did that
took all the cash from me saying she would keep that in her mom’s
account for the safety purpose. She introduced me to the church
priest and society, and everything was quite convincing to me. I
was learning a lot about Christianity; the prayers, hymns, baptism,
Holy Communion… almost everything…
     
    During the week, as I got a little familiar to the
people around, I wanted to find out the truth about what she had
told me about her family. Communicating with them was a great
problem for me because no one except the priests knew Hindi or
English in the locality. After a few days of struggle, I knew the
reality that as much she had told me about her family, even half of
that did not exist. The family was so poor that they were surviving
on the church’s monetary support. There was no good house to stay.
Her father was a big drunkard and whorer. The family’s condition
was totally in lurch. Seeing all that, I urged to see her
educational certificates again, but she gave me all wrong excuses
hiding the truth. A big fight took place that day in which I was
wounded.
     
    Her violent nature got strong root to make her mad
day by day. To my surprise, one day I saw that in the anger of
feeling hungry, she blew the snot out of her nose and swallowed
that.
     
    ‘Oh, shit!’
     
    I could say that much only. Her mom supported her a
lot and told me that all her documents were lost in the train while
she was in the journey to New Delhi for the first time.
     
    Out of the frying pan into the fire! I thought.
     
    With eyes turned misty, blurred vision, parched lips,
I lied on the ground