Free Young Frankenstein by Gilbert Pearlman Page A

little chat."
    "Of course. Nice idea. Won't you step into my study?"
    "Happy to."
    "Ripped out by the monster, eh?" the doctor said, as they left the hall. "Traumatic, I imagine . "
    "Well, I was a child . . . and Mum brought me up to share ... and I had two ..."
    "Best way to take it," the doctor said. "After all, what's done is done. No hard feelings . "
    They reached the study and entered. There was a bright fire blazing in the fireplace. A dartboard hung on one wall. A silver tray with a decanter of port and two glasses rested on an ornate table.
    "Cozy fire, darts, and port," the inspector said. "What could be more gracious?"
    "Yes, true."
    Dr. Frankenstein poured wine for himself and the inspector. They touched glasses, then sipped.
    "Anything special on your mind?" the doctor asked.
    "No, nothing. Just passing by. Just dropped in," the inspector replied . He looked at the doctor narrowly. "Want to talk about monsters?"
    Dr. Frankenstein laughed. "Monsters!" he said mock-ingly. "Come, Kemp, this is the twentieth century . Monsters are passe. Like ghosts and goblins . "
    "Are they?" the inspector said, going to the dart-board . "Not to the good people of this village, Herr Doktor." He began pulling darts from the board and jabbing them into his wooden arm, using it as a holder.
    "To them, the Frankenstein Monster is a very real thing." He strolled back and stopped when he was in throwing position. "Especially when there is a real Frankenstein residing in this castle . "
    The doctor merely smiled.
    "Of course, I'm sure they have nothing to worry about," the inspector said. He threw a dart.
    It stuck in the shade of a lamp.
    He tossed a second dart.
    It landed in a wastebasket.
    Zing! went another dart.
    It came to rest in the middle of a portrait, between the eyes of a Frankenstein ancestor.
    The final dart hit a table, ricocheted, struck a vase, glanced off, then hit the floor and disappeared under a chair.
    "Timing's off," the inspector commented.
    Dr. Frankenstein began collecting the darts. "I wouldn't think an intelligent fellow like you would fall for all that superstitious rot," he said.
    "It's not superstition that worries me, Doctor . It's genes and chromosomes . "
    "Rubbish," the doctor said, standing at the throwing position .
    "Well you might say . But this is Transylvania and you are a Frankenstein."
    The doctor threw a dart.
    It skidded along the top of the desk and stuck in the back of the high-backed swivel chair.
    He threw the second dart.
    It knocked over the decanter of port.
    Zing! went the third dart.
    It was a perfect shot, splitting the dart that the inspector had lodged in the portrait exactly in two.
    The doctor fired again.
    The dart plunged into the door behind him.
    "You seem upset by this discussion," the inspector said.
    "Not in the least. I find it extremely amusing." He glanced at the untouched dartboard. "Well, this was fun!" he said. "But, now, if you don't mind, inspector, I'm a little tired."
    "Yes, of course," the inspector said, moving toward the doorway. Then he paused. "I may give the villagers your complete assurance, then, that you have no interest whatsoever in carrying on in your grandfather's footsteps? Is that correct?"
    From the laboratory came a moan. "Mmmmmmmm-mmmmm . .."
    The doctor flinched .
    "Was that a yes?" the inspector asked.
    "Mmmmm," the doctor replied.
    "Very well," the inspector said, continuing toward the door.
    "You can find your way out, can't you?" the doctor said.
    "Oh, yes . . ." The inspector halted at the door. He removed the dart that was stuck in it, then turned and aimed it at the board, having one last throw.
    The dart went out an open window .
    "Too bad," Dr. Frankenstein said.
    "Just need to get my timing back," the inspector said, returning. He began picking up the darts from where they had landed when the doctor threw them.
    Dr. Frankenstein yawned pointedly.
    "Yes, I'm going," the inspector said. He tossed the second dart.
    It, too, went out the