Free Young Frankenstein by Gilbert Pearlman

Igor.
    "Sure."
    "I won't be angry, I promise," the doctor said. "All I ask for is the truth. The truth. It that fair?"
    "Why, certainly."
    "That brain you brought me: was it Hans Delbruck's?"
    "Ahhh . . . not exactly," Igor replied .
    A foreign color was coming into the doctor's face again . This time it was red. He made gurgling sounds, trying to keep back the rising rage. After a few moments, he regained control .
    "Could you be more specific?" he said tightly to Igor.
    "Well, if push came to shove, I'd have to say . . . No, it wasn't Hans Delbruck's brain."
    "Aha! Then, would you mind telling me-would you be so kind as to tell me-whose brain I did put in?"
    "You won't be angry?"
    "I promised."
    "Abe somebody," Igor told him.
    "Abe? Abe somebody? You don't know who?"
    Igor scowled, thinking. "Abe . . . uh .. . Abe Normal, I think."
    "Abe Normal?" The doctor looked at him closely . "How do you spell Abe?"
    "A, B," Igor replied.
    "Abnormal!" the doctor shrieked. "Right! That's the name!" Dr. Frankenstein grabbed Igor by the throat. His grip tightened. The color drained from Igor's face.
    "Quick, give him the-" Igor began. The words were squeezed off.
    "How many syllables?" Inga asked. Igor held up one finger . "One syllable." Igor cupped a hand to his ear.
    "This is ridiculous!" the doctor said, releasing him. "No, it isn't," Igor said, the hand still cupped to his ear. "I hear something."
    Inga and the doctor listened. "A car!" Inga said. "I told you it was one syllable." "It's approaching the castle," Dr. Frankenstein said. "What can it mean?"
    "We might be going to have a visitor," Igor suggested.
    "I don't hear the car any longer," Inga said. "Drove on by, probably," the doctor said. He looked down at the monster. "Let's put this 'thing' back on the table," he said to Igor. "And strap it down tightly."
    As they were lifting the monster, they heard a knocking.
    "Someone at the door," Inga said. "Who could it be at this hour, knocking at the castle door?" Dr. Frankenstein said.
    "I don't know," Igor said. "But, one thing I do know: that car didn't drive on by." The knock sounded again.
    "See who it is," Dr. Frankenstein said to Inga. "I'll be up in a moment . "
    When Inga had gone, the doctor and Igor finished strapping the monster back to the table .
    "I'll go up, now," the doctor told Igor . "Whoever it is at the door, we must act normally . Remember that! We can't let anyone know what's going on here . Understand?"
    "Got it. You're going up and you're going to act normal . You're the kind of master I admire," he said. "You take the toughest job for yourself . "
    Leaving Igor to watch over the monster, Dr. Frankenstein climbed the stairs to the main floor. As he approached the entrance hall, he saw Inga standing at the door and talking to a large man who had a cigarette holder that held an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth. He sensed somehow that the man was an officer of the law. Perhaps it was because his eyes were bright with integrity and his expression was so firm yet kindly. "For me, Inga?" the doctor asked casually, entering the hall.
    "Oh . . . yes, Doctor . This gentleman insists on talking to you . "
    "That's all right, dear . " He smiled paternally . "You may go on up to bed now."
    "Thank you, Doctor. Good-night, Doctor," she said, departing.
    "Good-night." He faced the caller. "I am Dr. Baron Frederic von Fronkonsteen, and I am a very normal man," he said. "That is, I mean, I am a very tired man, normally, so please be brief."
    "Horace Wilhelm Friedrich Kemp," the man responded, saluting the doctor with his wooden arm, "Inspector of Police."
    "Oh . . . Well, come in, Horace, do," the doctor said warmly. "Please! Don't be a stranger." "I thank you, sir."
    "War wound?" Dr . Frankenstein asked, indicating the wooden arm.
    "No, it was ripped out of its socket by that fiendish monster that your grandfather created when I was a child," the inspector replied. He looked past the doctor. "I thought we might have a