Free Young Frankenstein by Gilbert Pearlman Page B

window.
    He hurled a third dart.
    If the window had been the target, he would have scored a bull's-eye.
    "One last fling," the inspector said, sending the final dart sailing.
    Out the window .
    "You know, I suspect it isn't my timing, it's your darts," the inspector said, stomping toward the doorway.
    "They're the best money can-" Dr. Frankenstein began.
    But the inspector was gone.
    The doctor went to the window and looked out, hoping to be able to locate the darts. They were nowhere in sight. What he did see, after a few moments, however, was the inspector exiting from the castle. He also saw the inspector's automobile. And the inspector's automobile's tires. The tires, all four, were completely flat.
    Dr. Frankenstein withdrew. A few minutes later, he heard the inspector leaving. Rather, he heard the inspector's automobile's tires leaving .
    Floppity . . . floppity . . . floppity ... floppity . .. As the sounds of Inspector Kemp's flat tires faded in the distance, Igor and Inga came hurrying into the study.
    "Did you convince him that you're normal?" Igor asked.
    "Why would that be any problem?" the doctor asked. "I carried it off perfectly . He doesn't suspect a thing . Why did you leave the monster alone?" he asked Igor. "Why not? He's out cold."
    "Lukewarm perhaps, but not cold," the doctor said. "I heard him mmmmmmmmmming." He headed for the door. "We better get back down there."
    Hustling, they left the study and made their way to the stairs that led to the laboratory. As they were descending, they heard the monster's plaintive moan.
    "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . ."
    "He won't get very far in the world with that vocabulary," Igor said.
    A moment later, they heard a woman's voice. "Poor baby, poor little lamb."
    "He's learning fast!" Igor said, surprised.
    "Shh!" the doctor said, halting . "That wasn't him . Someone is with him."
    "A woman!" Inga said.
    Slowly, they proceeded. When they reached the entrance to the laboratory, they peeked around the doorway. There w a s a woman with the monster-more or less. It was Frau Blucher. Curious, the doctor, Inga and Igor remained concealed, listening and watching.
    "What have they done to you?" Frau Blucher cooed to the monster, who had regained consciousness. "But it's all over now. I'm going to set you free!"
    "Mmmmmmrnmmm . . ."
    "Yes, my susser Kopf, free! Would you like that?"
    "Mmrnmrnmmm."
    "Of course you would. They just wanted to hurt you. But I am going to help you."
    Frau Blucher began removing the leg bands.
    "Stop!" Dr. Frankenstein cried, charging into the laboratory.
    He was too late. The leg straps were off.
    "Get back! Don't come near him!" Frau Blucher screamed, throwing her arms wide and standing in front of the table.
    "What in heaven's name do you think you're doing, Frau Blucher?"
    From outside came the sound of horses rearing and neighing in fear.
    "I'm setting him free!" the woman told him .
    Inga appeared at the doctor's side. "No, no, you mustn't!" she pleaded, addressing Frau Blucher.
    "I must," she said.
    "He'll kill you!" the doctor told her.
    She laughed. "He won't. He's gentle as a lamb."
    The monster suddenly lurched forward . The chest straps snapped .
    "Mmmmmmmmmmm!" he cried out .
    "Get away from him!" Dr. Frankenstein shouted to Frau Blucher, backing away. "He's an animal! For the love of God, woman, run!"
    She ignored the warning. "I'm not afraid of him," she said. "He's a doll." She bent down and got a violin and bow from under the operating table. "Besides," she said, "I know what he likes."
    The monster sat up.
    Smiling at him in a motherly way, Frau Blucher put the violin under her chin, then touched the bow to the strings. Strange music came from the instrument . She was playing the eerie Transylvanian lullaby .
    "Mmmmmmmmmmm . . . " the monster said softly.
    "Stopped the big fellow in his tracks," Igor said, impressed .
    "That music!" the doctor said, putting his hands to his temples. He seemed to be momentarily stunned .
    "Yes-?" Frau Blucher