Free Miss Lazar Is Bizarre! by Dan Gutman Page B

all the excitement was over, we went back to class and learned more about weather. Miss Daisy said she was proud of the way I made a connection between volcanoes and tornadoes and toilet bowls. That made me feel good. But then an announcement came over theloudspeaker that made me feel bad.
    â€œStudents, this is a reminder that you should never put crayons or any other inappropriate objects into the toilet bowls. Thank you!”
    Everybody looked at me. I didn’t put anything down the toilet bowl. I didn’t even have to go to the bathroom in the first place.
    Luckily it was time for recess. Me and Michael and Ryan climbed the monkey bars. Annoying Andrea and Emily were playing catch nearby with a tennis ball.
    â€œI bet I know why you put crayons down the toilet, A.J.,” Andrea said. “You were trying to start a flood so schoolwould be closed and you could go home.”
    What is her problem? Why can’t a toilet bowl fall on her head?
    That was a total lie she made up. I didn’t even think of flooding the school so we could go home until the bathroomwas already flooded. I just ignored Andrea.

    â€œTell us the truth,” Ryan whispered. “Were you the one who put crayons down the toilet?”
    â€œYou can admit it to us, A.J.,” said Michael. “We won’t tell anybody.”
    â€œGuys,” I said, “I didn’t put anything down the toilet. I didn’t even have to go to the bathroom. I just wanted to get out of class for a few minutes.”
    Andrea and Emily were still throwing their tennis ball back and forth.
    â€œYou hate school,” Andrea said. “That’s why you did it, A.J.”
    â€œYou’re gonna get in trouble,” Emily said.
    â€œI didn’t do it!” I yelled.
    â€œDid too!”
    We went back and forth like that for a while, until the tennis ball that they wereplaying catch with got loose. It rolled over near the monkey bars. I jumped down and grabbed it.
    â€œToss me the ball, A.J.,” Andrea said, holding her hands out.
    Well, nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her. Because that’s when I got the greatest idea in the history of the world. I didn’t toss the tennis ball back to Andrea. I took that ball and chucked it up on the roof of the school!
    â€œOops,” I said to Andrea. “Sorry. I missed you. Bad throw.”
    â€œWay to go, A.J.!” said Ryan.
    â€œWow, I didn’t know you could throw that far,” said Michael.
    Emily started crying, the big crybaby. “That’s my tennis ball!” she said. “I got it for my birthday. It’s a special ball that glows in the dark.”
    â€œNow you’re really going to be in trouble,” Andrea said. “First you stuffed crayons in the toilet, and now you threw Emily’s ball up on the roof. I’m going to tell on you. My mother is vice president of the PTA, you know. She could have you suspended.”
    â€œShe means it, A.J.,” said Ryan.

    â€œIf you get suspended, you still have to do all your classwork,” Michael said.
    He must have been reading my mind, because as soon as Andrea said I would be suspended, I started thinking it would be cool to sit home and play video games all day.
    â€œOkay, okay,” I said to Emily. “I’ll get your stupid glow-in-the-dark tennis ball back.”

4
Up on the Roof
    How was I going to get Emily’s ball back? There were no ladders or stairs leading up to the roof of the school. I didn’t know how to get up there. There was only one thing to do. I had to go find Miss Lazar. She would be able to figure out how to get up there.
    Me and Michael and Ryan went inside the school and down the steps to the basement, where Miss Lazar’s room is. We knocked on her door, and she opened it.
    Miss Lazar’s room is the awesomest room in the school. She doesn’t have a bunch of boring books or computers. She’s got all kinds of tools and machines and