Free Not Looking for Love: Episode 3 by Lena Bourne

dad to take her," he says. "But our old cat died in the spring, so he's all against having another one. I hope he'll come around soon, though."
    "Your cat died? That's so sad," I say, clutching his hand tighter. We're back in the apartment and I should let him go so we can take off our coats, but I can't.
    "Yeah, but she was pretty old, like eighteen or something," he says and begins taking off his jacket.
    I finally let go of his hand, because I'm being ridiculous. "I never had any pets growing up. My mom was allergic."
    "It must have been nice to have a cat growing up," I add to chase away the image of my mom's glistening dead eyes, staring at the ceiling.
    "Sure," he shrugs. "We had two for as long as I can remember, and a stray here and there, but most of those left or died soon. I used to think the two that were ours were chasing them away because they were there first."
    I follow him into the kitchen, and watch him dig out one of the plastic containers of food from the fridge.  
    "Want some?" he asks popping over the lid.
    "Cold lasagna?" I ask. "No thanks."
    "Who's picky now?" he asks and digs in.
    I shrug and arrange the clean laundry that's strewn all over the table into a neater pile so he can sit down and eat, looking around for a better place to store it.  
    "You're not very neat, are you?" I ask.
    "I don't mind a little mess," he says. "Never did."
    I give up on straightening up his clothes, and cast a disproving look over the rest of the apartment. "This is not just a little mess you have here. Ever considered getting some furniture? Like a closet or a real bed?"
    He grins and licks the fork. "But a real bed would make too much noise downstairs during sex."  
    I feel myself blush which only makes him grin wider. "You're such a prude, Gail. I can't believe you're the same person from a month ago."
    "I'm serious," I say. "You need furniture."
    "I'm planning on getting some eventually, but it will be such a hassle," he says and takes another bite of the lasagna, still staring at me like maybe he wants to eat me.
    "Couldn't you find someplace already furnished then?" I ask.
    A shadow crosses his eyes, like I said something wrong.
    "My mom used to have her shop downstairs where the bakery is now. She owned this whole building," he says. "So, at least living here is rent free."
    "Oh, so you don't really like living here. I understand. Sorry I brought it up."
    "I'd rather not live here. It's just really sad," he says, scraping off the last of the lasagna from the box.  
    "I can imagine." The mere thought of going into my mom's room now that she's dead chokes me, and turns my legs to lead.
    "She was just talking about turning this place into a real studio a few weeks before she died," Scott says, staring past me at the window. He points to it with the fork. "She was going to have her working desk over there, where the light is best, and her materials on shelves along the walls. She brought me here to show me everything like a week before she died."
    Tears are running down my cheeks now, and I'm shaking.  
    "Why are you crying, Gail?" he says, his eyes focused on me.
    I just shake my head, because if I speak I will wail.
    "It's alright. I only just remembered this. It was a long time ago. Mostly I don't even remember my mom that clearly anymore," he says, and wipes the tears from my cheek with his palm. "When I do, it's more like her essence I remember when I think of her. And it's not a bad feeling. It'll be the same for you, after a few years."
    "I can't feel my mom anywhere," I sob. "I just see her dead body whenever I think of her."
    He stands up and pulls me to my feet, hugging me tightly, running his hand over my hair. "That'll fade, don't worry about it."
    "How do you know?" I mutter into his shirt. I want him to be right, but I'm not sure he is.
    "I just do, trust me," he says, his voice coming from deep inside his chest.
    But I have to know, have to be sure he's telling the truth. "Did you see your mom