Free Pink Wellies and Flat Caps by Lynda Renham Page B

my eyes. The only thing flashing before my eyes are galloping black and white cows and a fleeting thought that this is so not like Princess Diana. In fact, being crushed by stampeding cows while lying in a heap of cow dung is as far from Princess Diana as one can get I imagine. I close my eyes and clench my teeth and pray it will be over quickly. The pounding of the hooves matches the pounding of my heart. I can barely breathe when I feel strong arms lifting me. I hear the creaking of a gate as I am being carried to safety. I open my eyes and find myself looking into the hazel eyes of my rescuer. Edward Fairfax’s cheek twitches slightly when I fidget to be released and he puts me down abruptly. The stampeding cows stand quietly in a long queue and my mobile is lying in the mud. I look at it forlornly. He leaps over the gate, retrieves it, and hands it to me. I make a pitiful effort at tidying my hair and attempt a smile, but it doesn’t work. I notice my phone is flashing. I finally have a signal and realise I am standing in End Field and the rain is absolutely bucketing down.
    ‘What are you doing?
    ‘I was trying to get a phone signal and the cows just …’
    ‘The cows got spooked. They don’t often see mad women waving mobile phones around.’
    I suddenly feel very shaky.
    ‘Come on, I’ll drive you back.’
    He holds out his warm soft hand and it seems I have no choice but to take it. My legs turn to jelly and the last thing I remember thinking before I fainted was no way does he know Prince Harry .

Chapter Ten
     
    ‘Oh Ali, thank God. I was all for driving to sodding Cornwall. Why the hell didn’t you text me to let me know you had arrived?’
    ‘I’m sorry. Can you believe there is no phone signal here? Honestly it’s like the bloody land that time forgot. I almost got trampled to death by a herd of cows. Oh Georgie, it’s awful, really awful. I have to go miles into a field to get two bars on my phone. I mean primitive or what …’
    ‘You’re sounding like a snob,’ she scolds.
    ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to. That’s awful. It’s just I can’t tell you what Edward Fairfax’s house is like. It’s like that TV programme How clean is your house? , except it’s not funny.’
    ‘What!’
    ‘Honestly Georgie. I didn’t want to touch his house phone but I was desperate to talk to you. Can you believe I actually fainted? His cows charged at me. I mean, seriously they charged. What kind of cows does he have that do that? And then all he did was drop me off at the house and tell me to make myself a cup of tea. He’s gone again to fetch his sheep and whatever else farmers do.’
    I take a deep breath.
    ‘I’ve had to wash myself down in the dingy sink downstairs. The bathroom is ghastly. There is a huge spider in the bath.’
    ‘Oh no.’
    ‘Yes, and that’s just the house,’ I pause and then add , ‘No it’s worse. There are creatures in the bath. Things are breeding there. It’s like one of those films where things crawl out of the woodwork. My head itches too. I swear I’ve got lice. I actually saw things moving in the carpet. There’s this dog Molly. I tell you the thing is possessed. It’s either knocking you senseless or killing you with love and the sheep eat your skirt, and as for Edward Fairfax, he’s a miserable old bugger, a real laugh-a-minute guy, not. I’m driving home tomorrow. I’ll have to stay with Mum for a bit while I cope on the 30 hours …’ I say scratching my head like crazy.
    ‘Hang on Ali I don’t think it’s as simple as that. The thing is …’
    There is an uncomfortable hesitation and I feel my stomach somersault.
    ‘Your mum has taken a lodger. I wouldn’t have known but she phoned this afternoon and asked if Cas and I could pop round and take some of the things you left behind …’
    ‘What! But she can’t do that. I left loads of stuff there …’
    I’m only a few hours out of London and they are removing all trace of me.
    ‘It’s okay,