Free The Darker Side of Mummy Misfit #2 by Amanda Egan Page B

instead.
     
    “It’s his designated space for Christ’s sake!  He’s the caretaker, he needs to park it somewhere .  When he refused, she said she’d report him to Hinge & Bracket.  Bloody cheek!”
     
    I slipped her an envelope with 200 quid in it and told her that I hoped that would cheer her up - the school can afford it and, as extra-curricular events don’t really form part of their duties, it came out of our float money.  Authorised, of course, by Hinge & Bracket.
     
    The canapés had already been delivered so all we needed to do was talk Jenny through what was in each one.  “Not that any of the mummies are likely to eat anything,” Fenella told her.  “So just keep bringing them round my way.  Can’t drink, so I intend to max out on the grub.”
     
    As it hit seven o’clock, a few teachers and parents began to trickle into the hall and the familiar hub-bub of noise started up.
     
    Ned and Josh arrived together after settling the kids down with Olga, who was also supplementing the paltry wages she got from ‘Lydia-Boss-Lady’.  I hadn’t had the chance to fill Ned in on the hateful conversation I’d had with Shergar so, when he commented on the fact that it wasn’t a great turnout, I just told him I’d bring him up to speed later.
     
    I guess there must have been about fifty parents there in total - not great for a school of 160 kids - and the ones who had turned out had obviously done it to decide whether the newbies were worthy of their inclusion in the school.
     
    Overheard snippets from the evening:
     
    # 1  “I really feel that Manor House needs to introduce a more rigorous selection process.  In fact, I might bring it up at our next coffee morning.  After all it’s our responsibility to protect our children from just anyone joining the school.”
     
    # 2  “ … and that revolting little man simply refused to move his car.  Does anyone actually know what he does around here anyway?”
     
    At this point, Jenny was offering canapés and answered, “That “revolting little man” is called Colin and happens to be my husband.  He’s also the caretaker of this school and dedicates his life to keeping it a safe environment for your little darlings.  Pork sausage?”  And she thrust her silver platter under the nose of a Jewish mama.
     
    #3  “ I  firmly believe that the school fees should be upped by about 25%.  That would soon sort the problem.  And as for CCL!  Why would we want to provide an education for under-privileged kids?  Isn’t that what states schools are for?”
     
    #4  “I’m meant to be on tombola duty at the Christmas fair.  I must remember to let the committee know I can’t do it.  Off to The Sanctuary for an overhaul.  The nanny can just use her day off to bring the kids to the fair.”
     
    And so it continued, whinge after whinge, bitch after bitch, moan after moan.
     
    I sometimes wonder why I bother even trying to get to know the evil lot.  And then I remind myself it’s all for little Max’s benefit and to try get him the best education we can.
     
    The only real giggle was watching Patience with a confounded Letchy as she teased him with her sultriest pout and girliest giggle.
     
    As we cleared away at the end of the evening, I just thanked the God of Mummies that I had Fenella, Patience and Jenny as my allies.
     
    Sunday 9 th November
     
    Lou called from Scotland to say that she’s got herself a job in Finn’s nursery so that she can keep an eye on him.
     
    “But the bastards won’t let me start until my CRB comes back clean.  Anything could happen to him in that time - crayons could be choked on, Lego shoved up nostrils.”
     
    Explained that she wouldn’t be happy if she’d found out that anyone else at the nursery had been working there without a CRB and she poo-pooed me.
     
    “Yeh, but I know I’m OK and I need to be there for ma boy.”
     
    Classic Lou-Logic at it’s best.
     
    Settled down to go through