Free Dream Valley by Paddy Cummins
Authors: Paddy Cummins
saw her so radiant, so happy, so loving. It was the first time he was ever in bed with a girl. Four o'clock in the morning when she ushered him on tiptoes up to her
room, as the dawn was breaking and the birds were singing outside the big farmhouse window. If her father or mother had found him it would have been a disaster - they didn't. It was magic, as vivid now as then. Beautiful Sandra, his love above everything else in the world locked in his arms. The passion and
emotion was indescribable - he wanted it to last forever - sadly it couldn't.
Sandra was soon heading for Dublin and Trinity Collage for
her third level education. Garry had enough of school. All he wanted was to be working with horses. His parents couldn't understand where the craze for horses came from - it wasn't in the family. He was delighted to get a start in a local stud farm, and though he loved it, it wasn't really what he had in mind. He
always wanted to be working with racehorses, to experience the excitement, the travel, the glamour and the unique atmosphere.
The chance came. His boss had connections in Newmarket and
got him into a big stable there. He jumped at the opportunity - couldn't wait to go. But his parents were very concerned - he was only seventeen - but Garry didn't care, he was going - nobody would stop him. He would work hard, learn
everything about the game, make a great career and be successful.
He dreamed of having a big racing stable himself someday, being rich and successful. Then he could have Sandra - he would be acceptable to her wealthy parents. She loved horses too. He could see the two of them
becoming a great team and life would be wonderful. That beautiful thought kept him going on many frosty winter mornings in Newmarket. The dream helped him endure the hardship, the bitter cold, the loneliness. He thought of Sandra
every day and longed to have her with him. He knew he couldn't - he would have to wait - but the wait would be worth it.
Then the bombshell. It was his mother that gave him the shock news: "Sandra was pregnant - expecting twins for a fellow student -
a wealthy farmer's son from Kildare - she had left college - was getting married."
It nearly killed him. The feelings of sadness, isolation, loneliness and despair racked him. The mental agony lasted for weeks.
On reflection, he didn't really blame Sandra. She was only eighteen - these things happen. It could have been him - he wished it had been him, but it wasn't - it was someone else.
The pain and heartache abated slowly. Gradually he recovered
but it has definitely affected him ever since. He kept his vow never to bother about another girl. There was only one Sandra - he would have to live his life without her.
Now she's dead - it's even worse - all that pain and
suffering is now back again. Oh God why? Why? His mind was in turmoil, his heart ripped open.
'Will I oil the tack, or do you want me to do something else?' shouted Emily, having finished her coffee and heading out past the
bedroom door.
'Oh ... Yes Emily.' He jerked himself back to reality.
'Yeah, do a bit of oiling ... I'll be out in a minute.'
Looking in the mirror, his face was flushed, warped and
swollen. He wiped it with the towel. Needing some fresh air, he slipped out around the back to the little green fields that led down the valley. He started walking. The sun was bright and warm, the sky a clear rich blue, and the birds
were singing merrily. None of it meant anything to him. For Garry, this day was just Hell on Earth. All he could feel was the emptiness inside of him, the weight of anguish on his shoulders, the burning pain around his heart, the
spinning of his head, the blurred vision of his drowned eyes and the feverish trembling of his whole body. How long could he endure this? The thought of ending it all and rejoining Sandra in some better place flashed across his mind. It would be worth it if he could be certain of that joyous reunion.
'No ... No ...
room, as the dawn was breaking and the birds were singing outside the big farmhouse window. If her father or mother had found him it would have been a disaster - they didn't. It was magic, as vivid now as then. Beautiful Sandra, his love above everything else in the world locked in his arms. The passion and
emotion was indescribable - he wanted it to last forever - sadly it couldn't.
Sandra was soon heading for Dublin and Trinity Collage for
her third level education. Garry had enough of school. All he wanted was to be working with horses. His parents couldn't understand where the craze for horses came from - it wasn't in the family. He was delighted to get a start in a local stud farm, and though he loved it, it wasn't really what he had in mind. He
always wanted to be working with racehorses, to experience the excitement, the travel, the glamour and the unique atmosphere.
The chance came. His boss had connections in Newmarket and
got him into a big stable there. He jumped at the opportunity - couldn't wait to go. But his parents were very concerned - he was only seventeen - but Garry didn't care, he was going - nobody would stop him. He would work hard, learn
everything about the game, make a great career and be successful.
He dreamed of having a big racing stable himself someday, being rich and successful. Then he could have Sandra - he would be acceptable to her wealthy parents. She loved horses too. He could see the two of them
becoming a great team and life would be wonderful. That beautiful thought kept him going on many frosty winter mornings in Newmarket. The dream helped him endure the hardship, the bitter cold, the loneliness. He thought of Sandra
every day and longed to have her with him. He knew he couldn't - he would have to wait - but the wait would be worth it.
Then the bombshell. It was his mother that gave him the shock news: "Sandra was pregnant - expecting twins for a fellow student -
a wealthy farmer's son from Kildare - she had left college - was getting married."
It nearly killed him. The feelings of sadness, isolation, loneliness and despair racked him. The mental agony lasted for weeks.
On reflection, he didn't really blame Sandra. She was only eighteen - these things happen. It could have been him - he wished it had been him, but it wasn't - it was someone else.
The pain and heartache abated slowly. Gradually he recovered
but it has definitely affected him ever since. He kept his vow never to bother about another girl. There was only one Sandra - he would have to live his life without her.
Now she's dead - it's even worse - all that pain and
suffering is now back again. Oh God why? Why? His mind was in turmoil, his heart ripped open.
'Will I oil the tack, or do you want me to do something else?' shouted Emily, having finished her coffee and heading out past the
bedroom door.
'Oh ... Yes Emily.' He jerked himself back to reality.
'Yeah, do a bit of oiling ... I'll be out in a minute.'
Looking in the mirror, his face was flushed, warped and
swollen. He wiped it with the towel. Needing some fresh air, he slipped out around the back to the little green fields that led down the valley. He started walking. The sun was bright and warm, the sky a clear rich blue, and the birds
were singing merrily. None of it meant anything to him. For Garry, this day was just Hell on Earth. All he could feel was the emptiness inside of him, the weight of anguish on his shoulders, the burning pain around his heart, the
spinning of his head, the blurred vision of his drowned eyes and the feverish trembling of his whole body. How long could he endure this? The thought of ending it all and rejoining Sandra in some better place flashed across his mind. It would be worth it if he could be certain of that joyous reunion.
'No ... No ...