Free ... and Baby Makes Two by Judy Sheehan Page A

have that? Or is it because he's Preapproved by Mom? You shouldn't hold that against him. Mom would probably like Raoul, if she ever met him.”
    â€œLook, Sheil. I was thinking I'd go out with that actor guy. Dick-Richard.”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œThis is a weird time for me. I'm thinking about my life and where it should go. There are some things that I know. I think. And anyway, did I tell you Peter was in that whole head-shaving conspiracy in high school?”
    â€œIt wasn't a conspiracy. It was just— Oh! They're back”
    Jane wasn't paying attention to the glittering people on her screen. She should tell Sheila about these baby plans/thoughts/ dreams because:
S HEILA WAS HER SISTER, BEST FRIEND, AND MOST RELIABLE CONFIDANTE.
T HEY HAD SURVIVED A CHILDHOOD OF I RISH SUPERSTITIONS, UNSPEAKABLE BRIDESMAID GOWNS AT FAMILY WEDDINGS, AND B ETTY.
S HEILA HAD TWO LITTLE BOYS AND WOULD THEREFORE BE LOADED WITH JOY AND GOOD ADVICE.
    Three good reasons. Perfectly good. Wonderful, even. So why the hesitation?
    Jane should not tell Sheila about the adoption because:
Sheila never told Jane about her elopement. She just eloped. Yes, Jane knew that Sheila was dating Raoul and that it was getting serious. But that was all Jane knew. She learned about the elopement from Betty. It was a memorably ugly phone call.
    Maybe this was a test. If she didn't have the courage to tell Sheila about the thought of a baby, she definitely failed the test. And anyway, couldn't Jane tell Sheila anything? Loud commercials blared. Go.
    â€œSo, Sheila? I wanted to tell you something. Here goes. I keep seeing babies everywhere, and thinking about babies and actually, maybe, wanting to have a baby … of some kind. I went to this meeting and there were all these women who were trying to get pregnant and these other women who were trying to adopt, and there was a picture of a little girl in a red bathing suit.”
    Sheila didn't say anything. Not a good sign, right?
    â€œLook. I don't think I can explain this or justify it or anything sensible like that. Sam and I used to talk about kids before he got sick, and I guess I always assumed that I'd be a mother someday. And I think that this is the sort of thing that if you don't do it, and you need to, you go crazy. Anyway, there. You're a mother, so tell me the truth. Am I insane?”
    Silence. Really awful sign.
    â€œOh, God, Sheil. Is it that horrible?”
    One of Sheila's stepsons, who wished to remain anonymous, had run through the room and disconnected the phone. It took several minutes for either of them to figure it out. Jane now had a sign that she shouldn't say anything yet. When they finally reconnected, Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn were hunting the wrong leopard in Connecticut.
    â€œSorry, Janie. There's a cute little boy here who wants to play outside in the rain at night, but it's not going to happen. Yes, I mean
you,
Tyler! You should be in pj's, shouldn't you? It's late!”
    Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn caught that wrong leopard.
    â€œHey I was trying to ask you before. Did Mom get my card?”
    And Jane was pushed off track, just like that. She dug her pinky nail into the soft flesh of her hand until it hurt.
    â€œSheila. She was too surprised—you should have told me. Next year, send it to me and I'll give it to her.”
    â€œHow bad was it? I guess I was kind of hoping I could make a little peace offering. Sorry”
    For months after the elopement, Sheila cried over the phone to her sister. There was a lot of “I've wrecked my life!” and “I miss myparents!” and “Florida is really hot!” conversations. And every conversation ended with Sheila apologizing for her grief and her intrusion.
    But Raoul was patient with his new bride. It was hard to know what scared her more: her new family or her old one. The little boys were moody. In the morning, they would order four different breakfasts from their weary new