Free e Squared by Matt Beaumont Page B

11.04
    Subject: let’s get it on
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    I am lonely sexual teen who need friendly chat. Reply me and we make fun. [email protected]. My breasts are on fire.
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    From: Harvey Harvey
    To: Britney
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.06
    Subject: Re: let’s get it on
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    Hi Britney
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    Amazing that you should write because I’ve only just had an e-mail from another girl who was bored and wanted to chat. She’s called Daniela and she seems very nice. Remarkably, she also complained of inflammation in the breasts. Maybe it’s a winter virus thing. I really think you should get in touch with her. I’m sure you’d cheer each other up. Her e-mail is [email protected]
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    Thanks for writing. And do get in touch with Daniela. I bet it helps chase away the January blues.
    Harvey Harvey
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    From: Alex Sofroniou
    To: All Staff
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.17
    Subject: spam filter
    Â 
    Just to let you know that the spam filter is up and running again. Apologies for the inconvenience.

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    From: Harvey Harvey
    To: Alex Sofroniou
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.19
    Subject: Re: spam filter
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    What’s spam?
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.32
    Subject:
    Â 
    Hi Lorraine
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    I know you don’t want to hear from me, but please don’t hit delete now ...
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    Please, please, please don’t ...
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    You still there?
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    You haven’t trashed this yet?
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    Thanks.
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    OK, where to begin? I honestly don’t know why you left (it’s not because of the thing with the thing, is it? That was ages ago). All I want is an explanation. I think you owe me that much. Fair dos, I owe you a lot more, but one tiny-weeny explanation isn’t a lot to ask, is it? OK, it might be a big explanation, a humungous one the size of a house or a truck or Keith Richards’ smack bill circa 1971. I can take it. I have both the time and a cast-iron emotional constitution ...
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    You still haven’t trashed this? Amazing, but thanks.
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    We could do it over a drink. I’ll buy. And I promise I won’t plead with you to come home. Well, only a little bit.
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    Please say yes (you’ll meet me, not yes you’ll come home-though you can if you want. I’d really like that).
    Â 
    Liam x
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.33
    Subject: PS
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    I got your e-mail address from your receptionist. I didn’t do anything stalker-ish. I just asked nicely. It was really easy. Endemol security seems a bit slack. You might want to have a word.
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.35
    Subject: PPS
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    You left some bits and bobs in the laundry basket. I washed them for you.
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.36
    Subject: PPPS
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    I ironed them too.
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    From: Bill Geddes
    To: Liam O’Keefe
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.37
    Subject: possible jumper
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    I’m really sorry to do this to you, Liam, but I have Betina from Esmée Éloge on hold. She’s crying, literally hysterical. I’m genuinely afraid that if I don’t give her a Winter Sun recall ad soon, she may do something crazy, possibly involving self-harm. What do you say, old pal?
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Bill Geddes
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.38
    Subject: Re: possible jumper
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    Clients, suicidal or otherwise, are your job. Why are you bothering me with it? I’m in the middle of something VERY IMPORTANT here.
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.39
    Subject: PPPPS
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    You’ve got a lot of post. I haven’t opened any of it, but you haven’t given me a forwarding address. So we have to meet up, don’t we? You know, so I can give it to you.
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    From: Liam O’Keefe
    To: Lorraine Pallister
    Sent: 8 January 2009, 11.40
    Subject: