Free Bang Bang Bang by Stella Feehily

– for me –
    Take Bibi –
    SADHBH. What about Bibi?
    MATHILDE. I don’t want to be like her.
    No home, no children and now she’s ill and old.
    SADHBH. She’s thirty-seven.
    MATHILDE looks at her uncomprehendingly.
    MATHILDE. Pourquoi tu est triste?
    SADHBH. Because I am.
    MATHILDE. I think it’s wonderful you go to China together. An adventure, ah?
    SADHBH. Yeah – to Beijing – that well-known haven for human rights activists.
    MATHILDE does not know what to say for a moment.
    SADHBH fans herself with her hat. She groans.
    MATHILDE. You are unwell a lot.
    SADHBH. I’m not unwell. I’m pregnant.
    MATHILDE. What?
    SADHBH. Yeah.
    MATHILDE. How do you know?
    SADHBH. I’ve missed a period. My boobs are sore, I’m perpetually queasy. And I just did a test with Romy.
    MATHILDE. Oh my God – but that’s so –
    Congratulations. Oh, beautiful.
    SADHBH says nothing – but she allows herself a smile.
    So… You did not know this at the party?
    SADHBH. I had an idea. Romy confirmed it.
    MATHILDE. Because you had a lot of – the stuff that numbs the brain –
    SADHBH. Don’t. I know.
    MATHILDE. Is Stephen happy?
    SADHBH. Too many questions, Mathilde.
    MATHILDE. Sorry but –
    SADHBH. I’m just six weeks gone. It feels more like indigestion than a baby.
    MATHILDE. You didn’t tell him?
    SADHBH. He’d have made me go back with him.
    I didn’t want that. We have a job to do here.
    MATHILDE. It’s not very hygienic – where we go.
    And there is cholera in Lushabere.
    Perhaps it is better if you go –
    SADHBH. Mathilde! There is no one but us to finish this investigation.
    If we work our asses off and interview ten people a day we’ll be home in a month.
    MATHILDE. I’m happy for that.
    SADHBH. But we go when we’ve got enough to put the frighteners on Mburame and not before.
    MATHILDE. But you can’t ignore –
    SADHBH. Did you want something else?
    MATHILDE. No.
    SADHBH. Go on. Spend time with –
    MATHILDE. Vin. He is asleep now.
    He threw up all night.
    But we’ve had sex – so I’m happy…
    SADHBH. Good. Good for you.
    MATHILDE. It’s just been good to get a break – from the guilt.
    SADHBH. Go. Wake him up. Enjoy it.
    From now on you’ll never escape the feeling you’ve failed someone.
    And you will have.
    SADHBH throws her arm over MATHILDE ’s shoulder.
    MATHILDE leans into SADHBH.
    Sounds of the city. After some moments the atmospheric sounds segue into the sounds from the compound.
    Four
    The compound.
    A cow lows loudly. VIN is taking photographs. MATHILDE is wearing a bikini top and cut-off shorts.
    MATHILDE. Hey, boy from Tring! You can’t just leave me alone in bed. What is that?
    VIN. It’s commonly known as a cow.
    MATHILDE. Of course I know this.
    But why is? Where does it come from?
    VIN. Democratic Republic of Congo?
    MATHILDE. Vin!
    VIN. It’s a gift – for Madame ‘Kavanagh’.
    From Colonel Mburame.
    A great compliment apparently.
    MATHILDE. No. This can’t be true.
    VIN. I think you’ll find it is true.
    The cow lows.
    Two scary blokes delivered it this morning.
    MATHILDE. Merde. Une vache.
    And I smell its shit.
    Regarde – there is cow poop everywhere.
    SADHBH enters.
    Disgusting.
    SADHBH. I think Mburame is trying to make me feel at home.
    VIN. Sadhbh and Mburame up a / tree. K-I-S-S-I –
    SADHBH. Exactly how old / are you, Vin?
    MATHILDE. That is terrible. You / can’t accept it.
    It must go back.
    SADHBH. Strap her on the back of a motorcycle?
    Squeeze her / into the Jeep?
    MATHILDE. Why are you smiling?
    Mburame has given you a – cow.
    Does he think he can bribe you?
    SADHBH. Do I look like a woman who can be / bribed with a cow?
    The cow lows.
    SADHBH laughs.
    MATHILDE. Stop laughing. For me – this is terrible.
    He is a monster. /
    You have blood on your hands.
    SADHBH. Steady now.