Free The Universe Twister by Keith Laumer, edited by Eric Flint

blocks." He started around the man, who took a quick step to bar his way.
    "Are you deaf, oaf?" he rapped.
    "No, I'm Lafayette O'Leary, and if you don't mind, I'd like to—"
    The young Hercules put a finger against O'Leary's chest. "Begone!" he hissed fiercely.
    "Now, now, no rough stuff in front of the princess," O'Leary admonished, brushing the hand aside.
    "Count Alain," a cool feminine voice said. Both men turned. Princess Adoranne smiled an intimate little smile at the count and turned to Lafayette.
    "This must be the brave man who's come to rid us of the dragon." She tugged at the leash as the tiger cub came snuffling around O'Leary's ankles. "Welcome to Artesia."
    "Thanks." Lafayette nudged the count aside. "I didn't exactly come here to kill dragons, but since I'm here, I don't mind helping out."
    "Have you slain many dragons, Sir Lafayette?" She smiled at him coolly.
    "Nope, never even saw one." He winked. "Did you?"
    "Adoranne's lips were parted in an expression of mild surprise. "No," she admitted. "There is but one, of course—the beast of the rebel Lod."
    "I'll bring you his left ear—if dragons have ears."
    The princess blushed prettily.
    "Fellow, you're overbold," Alain snapped.
    "If I'm going to go dragon hunting, that's a characteristic I've been advised to cultivate." Lafayette moved closer to the princess. "You know, Adoranne, I really should have demanded half the kingdom and your hand in marriage."
    Count Alain's hand spun O'Leary around; his fist hovered under Lafayette's nose.
    "I've warned you for the last time."
    Lafayette disengaged his arm. "I sincerely hope so. By the way, isn't there a little matter you wanted to attend to?" Lafayette envisioned an urgent physiological need.
    Count Alain looked uncomfortable. "Your pardon, Highness," he said in a strained voice. He turned hastily and hurried toward an inconspicuous door.
    O'Leary smiled blandly at the princess. "Nice fellow," he said. "Good friend of yours?"
    "One of my dearest companions since were played together as children."
    "Amazing," Lafayette said. "You remember your childhood?"
    "Very well, Sir Lafayette. Do you not?"
    "Well, sure, but let's not get started on that. Would you like to dance?"
    The princess' ladies, drawn up in a rank behind her, sniffed loudly and moved as if to close in. Adoranne looked at O'Leary thoughtfully.
    "There's no music," she said.
    Lafayette glanced toward the potted palms, envisioned a swinging five-man combo behind them. They were in tuxes, and the music was on the stands, and the instruments out. The leader was saying a word to the boys now, raising a hand . . . He felt the small thump.
    "May I?" Lafayette held out a hand as the opening blast of the Royal Garden Blues rang across the ballroom. Adoranne smiled, handed the cub's leash to a lady standing by and took Lafayette's hand. He drew her close—a feather-light vision of sky-blue and pearls and a faint scent of night-blooming jasmine.
    "Sir Lafayette!" she gasped. "You have a strange manner with a lady."
    "I'll show you a quaint native dance we do at home."
    She followed without apparent difficulty as he tried out one of the Arthur Murray steps he had so often practiced solo in his room with the instruction book in his left hand.
    "You follow beautifully," O'Leary said. "But then, I guess that's to be expected."
    "Of course. I've been well instructed in the arts of the ballroom. But tell me, why did you agree to go out against Lod's dragon?"
    "Oh, I don't know. To keep from finding out if your pop really meant what he said about hot irons, maybe."
    "You jest, sir!"
    "Sure."
    "Tell me, did you swear some great oath to do a mighty deed?"
    "Well . . ."
    "And an oath of secrecy as well," she nodded, bright-eyed. "Tell me," she asked in an excited whisper, "who are you—really? The name—Sir Lafayette—does it disguise some noble title in your own land of Leary?"
    "Now where did you get that idea?"
    "You comport yourself not as one accustomed to