Free Plunking Reggie Jackson by James Bennett

eligibility. He leaned back in his chair. “Okay,” he finally said.
    â€œYour brother died when you were in the ninth grade.”
    â€œThat’s true.”
    â€œThat’s when you started to slip.”
    She had Coley’s attention. The way she said it made the dovetailing of the two things seem quite vivid. He told her quietly, “Mrs. Alvarez, you’re the one with all the records. If you say it’s true, I can’t argue with it. What does it prove?”
    â€œI’m not exactly sure if it proves anything, but it’s interesting.” She was cleaning her glasses. Every once in a while she held them up to the light for inspection.
    â€œOkay, why is it, like, interesting?” Coley regretted the words almost as soon as he spoke them.
    â€œI wonder if you’ve ever thought about guilt.”
    â€œGuilt?”
    â€œWhen people die before their time,” the counselor declared, “people close to them often feel guilty. Sometimes it’s completely unreasonable. Maybe even most of the time it is. People often act out the guilt in roundabout ways.”
    â€œWhat ways? What guilt? I had nothin’ to do with Patrick’s death; he was wild and crazy. He got killed in a boating accident in Florida.”
    â€œI already told you it’s not reasonable lots of times.” She had her glasses back on and was looking straight at him.
    Surprisingly, he found himself engaged in this give-and-take. He looked right back at her. “Did you feel guilty when your husband died?”
    â€œAbsolutely. I still do.”
    â€œGuilty about what?”
    Mrs. Alvarez didn’t waste time thinking about her answer. “He had to convince me that reenlisting in the service was a good thing for him to do. I probably could have talked him out of it.”
    This seemed to be getting very personal. “But he died in an accident, didn’t he?”
    â€œYes. It was an accident.”
    â€œMrs. Alvarez, that could’ve happened to him just driving a car or crossin’ the street. None of it could be your fault.”
    â€œI know. I told you it wasn’t reasonable.” Her eyes glistened but didn’t tear up.
    â€œOkay, so why would I feel guilty about Patrick? Tell me something unreasonable about that.”
    â€œI have a theory, but that’s all it is.”
    â€œSo what’s the theory?”
    â€œMaybe you’re afraid of too much success. What if your biggest fear is that you’re better than Patrick?”
    â€œBetter in what way?”
    â€œIn any way. In every way.”
    â€œNo offense, Mrs. Alvarez, but you’re starting to sound like a shrink.”
    â€œI know.” She reached down to drag the box of books in her direction. “But the fact remains, you were once a very good student and he never was. Based on the records I’ve looked at, I’d say you’re also a more generous person than he ever was.”
    The words generous person seemed like a description of a wuss. “Patrick had the fire and the killer instinct,” he replied quickly.
    â€œI don’t doubt it. He was suspended from school at least four times. You’ve never been suspended from school; you don’t even have a referral in your records.”
    â€œHe was just a little bit wild and crazy, Mrs. Alvarez. He was fearless. That’s one of the things that made him such a great pitcher. A great athlete, period. That was the quality that put him over the top.”
    She answered quietly, “That may also be the quality that put him in the grave, Coley. Based on the information I’ve gathered, I think that might be a fair statment, don’t you?”
    â€œYeah, that too.”
    The counselor was taking paperback books from the box and stacking them on her desk. Coley asked her, “So how is this supposed to make me feel guilty? I’m a better citizen than Patrick and I used to be a better